Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bliss, cemetery, child, church, companion, couple, day, duty, elderly, era, focus, friends, friendship, funny, game, Games, ghost, granny, happiness. joy, Heaven, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, job, jokes, labor, laughter, minister, mother, mother-in-law, partner, pastor, period, photos, pope, preacher, priest, reverend, Saturday, seniors, sermon, sleep, smiles, spouse, Sunday, task, television, time, tool, tools, wife, work
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,
“Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to Heaven?”
Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh.
I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door,and
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Jul 11 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed
with you.
Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too. !
If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
Don’t even think about trying it twice.
Jul 11 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: car, companion, cop, couple, dialect, funny, hilarious, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, license, listening, man, officer, partner, passenger, patois, patrolman, police, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, spouse, ticket, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, vehicle, vernacular, voice, wife, woman, words
One day a Jamaican couple was driving along a high way somewhere South in the USA when a State trooper stopped them.
Upon reaching the car, the Trooper said in his good southern drawl “Howdy … speeding?”
The Jamaican woman exclaimed “A wah Im seh?”
The Jamaican man replied to her “Im seh we a drive too fass”
The trooper continued “I’m going to have to give you all a ticket”
The woman exclaimed again “A wah Im seh?”
Slightly irritated, the Jamaican man replied “Im seh wi a go get a traffic ticket”
The trooper, now recognising their Jamaican accents said to them “Y’all from Jamaica? I went to Jamaica once!”
The woman once again exclaimed “A wah Im seh?”
The Husband, nearly at his limit replied “Im seh Im go Jamaica already”
The trooper continued, “I met a Jamaican Girl there and we had sex. You know it was the
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Jul 11 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: boobs, breasts, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, penis, short, smiles
An elephant asks a camel: “Why are your breasts on your back?”
“Well” says the camel, “I think that’s a strange question from somebody
whose dick is on his face .”
Jul 11 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: aroma, bank, check, cologne, companion, couple, decision, designer, dialect, excitement, eyes, fashion, fragrance, funds, funny, hilarious, humor, husband, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, legs, life, lifestyle, lovemaking, money, odor, partner, patois, perception, perfume, scent, sex, smiles, spouse, style, surprise, television, vernacular, vision, whisper, wife, woman, words
This Jamaican woman felt that her love life was slipping because her
husband had no more interest in sex. While shopping one day, she passed an
adult shop and saw some crotchless panties, so she decided to buy one and
try to use it to excite and seduce him.
That evening she took a long bath, put on a favorite perfume, and then she
put on a sexy negligee and her new crotchless panties. Then she slithered
into the room where her husband was watching TV as usual.
She stands right in front of him, with one foot resting high on the
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Jul 11 2008
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: Anancy, Big Boy, dialect, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, patois, smiles, vernacular, words
.
“Blue Mountain Coffee and Sorrel.”
Jamaica is “Kola Champagne, Manish Water.”
Jamaica is “Jerk Pork, Scotch Bonnet, Hardough Bread.”
Jamaica is “FryFish & Bammy, Coco Bread & Patty.
Jamaica is “Irie, Nyabingi, Boogooyaga, Legobeast.
Jamaica is “Cornmeal Dumplin, Dasheen, Yam, Coco.”
Jamaica is “Pimento, Ackee & SaltFish, Black Mango, Star Apple.”
Jamaica is “Anancy and Big Boy stories.”
Jamaica is “Jackfruit, Juneplum, Nesberry, Guinep and Hogplum.”
Jamaica is “Busta, Icey mint, and Paradise plum.”
Jamaica is “Tinking toe, Drops, Gizzada, and Grater cake.”
Jamaica is “Bun and cheese, and Sorrel and Rum cake.”
Jamaica is “OLIVER SAMUELS”
Jamaica is “Doouckunu, Dip and Fall Back, Run-down.”
Jamaica is “Bulla, Totoe , Festival and SaltFish Fritters.
Jamaica is “Peppa shrimps, blue draws,Roast breadfruit and corned pork.”
Jamaica is “Cool runnings, cease and settle, haul and pull up and nuff respect.”
Jamaica is “Reggae Boyz. ”
Jamaica is “Ital stew, Strong Back, Irish Moss, Circey Tea.”
Jamaica is “Rum and Red Stripe.”
Jamaica is “Kin-Puppa-Lick !!, Blouse and skirt !!, Gouzum !!”
Jamaica is “Rhattid !!, Blough-wow !!, Geeze-u-wiz !!
Jamaica is “Suck-suck and sky-juice.”
Jamaica is “Wi likkle but wi tal-a-wa!”
Jamaica is “Wey yu a sey, What a gwan & How it a go dung”
Jamaica is “bull-buck and duppy conqueror”
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Jul 11 2008