Series–Resurrection Life
Joy
By Paula Moldenhauer
I seek what I do not know
Try to understand
Behemoth thoughts
Within the limits of human mind
I reach
Baby patters of faith
Stretching in Giant footprints
How do I take
What I cannot fully grasp
And place it
Into the confines of life?
Take joy for instance
Chasing joy I think I will skip
Barefoot in daffodil fields
As though after spring’s first butterfly
Instead the pursuit plods
Pushing through wombs, caves, and black holes
Trudging up steep cliffs on rocky trails.
How will this path lead me to what I seek?
And then one day I realize
Joy is not something you can catch
It is something you uncover
In the dark places
And on the difficult roads
Several years ago I prayed almost daily for joy. My anticipation was high. The Lord had just taken me over multiple spiritual hurdles and in my passion for Him, I couldn’t wait to finally “get” what living in joy was really like. I longed to know the kind of joy mature Christians talk about—abiding, deep, and unshakable.
This week I’ve reflected on those prayers and what followed. I expected good gifts—presents from Jesus. And while He has given me many good things since I prayed those prayers, the years that followed have been wrought with stripping, hardship, and disappointment. When I asked for joy, why did I get pain?
On this difficult road, God’s shaping and reshaping of me is evident. Times of loss show me God’s compassion. Things I can’t have reveal to me what I want most. Disappointments and unfulfilled dreams remind me to base my identity on Whose I am instead of what I do. Dealing with my brokenness sends me to Jesus. Leaving my shame and guilt at the cross ushers freedom into my heart.
And something new is happening inside. It’s in process. It is incomplete. But I’m a different girl than I was several years ago. I’m much more solid inside. The outer layers still experience joy and sadness, celebration and disappointment, confidence and insecurity, and clarity and confusion.
But newness is forming underneath those layers. There’s a new foundation of peace and confidence that remains a part of me whether it’s a great day, or a lousy one. And, something else flutters deep inside this new, quiet place.
I think it might be joy.
It would seem that for us to discover joy the good Lord has to take off the layers of muck that hide it. He pries open our fists so we quit holding onto the things that don’t satisfy. He thrusts life out of our control so that we can learn to trust instead of manipulate. He allows disappointment and hardship to enable us to face our brokenness so He can heal us. He strips away the temporal so we can find the eternal. He takes away what we don’t need so we can find what we do.
Himself.
For in Him our joy is made complete.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NIV)
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