Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY".
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All stories copyright 2008 Bob Perks
Today’s message:
..
“Love is Made Visible”
by Bob Perks
.
“Who is responsible for this?” the pastor asked.
“I can’t believe that no one has taken care of it.
I have been getting phone calls for two days.
I didn’t know what to tell them.”
.
For longer than anyone can remember the old Gospel
Church atop the hill in Reddington Valley served as a
beacon for those who were lost. Not just spiritually
but even as a land mark for giving directions.
.
“Turn down Main Street and head toward the brightest
star in the sky. You can’t miss it,” a traveler
would hear.
.
You see, on top of the old church steeple was a big
bright star. It was all one piece and lighted by a
huge light bulb. They actually had placed it up there
as part of a Christmas
display and never took it down.
.
But two days ago the bulb burned out. The entire town
was lost without it. It seemed that the locals were all
turned about at night. The confusion started when
someone passing through happened to stop the mayor to
ask for directions.
.
“I looked up and pointed to the star. It wasn’t there.
Thinking I was facing the wrong way, I turned around
looking for it but couldn’t find it,” he said.
“I think that guy is still riding around town.”
.
Soon the phone started ringing at the old Gospel
Church. People wanted to know what happened. The
problem was even the Pastor didn’t know. That star
was just always there. He had no idea who kept it
lit or where the light bulbs were. That is until
the phone rang late that afternoon.
.
“Pastor. I’m hoping you can help us,” the man said.
“This is Chief Robertson. We just got back from the
Delaney house. We found old Jim Delaney dead. It seems
he’s been dead about two days.”
.
“I’m sorry. I must tell you that I’m not familiar with the
man,” the Pastor said.
.
“No one seems to be,” the Chief replied. “There are no
known relatives or friends available.”
.
“Well, if it’s a burial service you are looking for, I’d
be pleased to do it,” said the Pastor.
.
“That would be great. But there is something else.
I’d like for you to come by in about an hour if you can.
The house is up the dirt road on Bishop’s Hill across the
valley from your church.”
.
“I’ll be there,” he replied.
.
The Pastor arrived just as Chief Robertson pulled in.
“What is it you wanted me to see, Chief?”
.
“Come inside. I think you’ll need this stuff.”
.
As they entered the home you could see stacks of unopened
mail along with various books scattered about.
.
“Over here, Pastor. I believe this is for you.”
.
There on the mantle of the fireplace was a box with a small
white envelope attached. It said “From the star keeper to
The Gospel Church”
.
The note inside it read:
.
“To whom it may concern:
.
Back in 1950 my beautiful wife Mildred became ill. We
Read More
Jul 23 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bliss, cow, dog, elderly, funny, happiness, hilarious, humor, jokes, joy, laughter, life, lifestyle, man, marriage, seniors, smiles, woman
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty
long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
calves,
and give milk to support the farmer’s family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
Read More
Jul 23 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?”
Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.”
Jul 23 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”
The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks the man, puzzled.
“Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are outstanding in their field.”
Jul 23 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello.”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing …..the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape…..
Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
Jul 23 2008
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, All Fool's Day, April Fool's Day, atheist, attorney, bar, celebration, Christian, Christianity, Christians, christmas, court, day, Easter, era, fool, funny, God, heart, hilarious, history, holiday, holidays, honor, humor, idiot, jokes, judge, language, laughter, lawyer, leader, license, listening, man, moron, opportunity, others, passionate, period, psalm, scripture, smiles, sound, stupid, time, voice, wisdom, woman, words
In Florida an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and
Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the
discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to
Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists have no holiday to
celebrate.
The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the
godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.
The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long,
passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and
declared, “Case dismissed!”
The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said,
“Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have
Christmas, Easter and many other observances.
And the Jews in addition to Passover have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah and yet my
client and all other atheists have no such holiday!”
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client
is too confused to know about the atheists’ holiday!”
The ACLU lawyer pompously said, “We are aware of no such holiday for atheists,
just when might that be, your honor?”
The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date— APRIL
FIRST!”
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The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” - Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1
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Jul 23 2008