Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: designer, dress, fashion, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, journey, laughter, logic, man, Mathematics, nun, pants, prayer, road, smiles, style, time, travel, trip, woman
There were two nuns…
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
+ + + + + +
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It’s not working.
SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
+ + + + + +
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .
Then Sister Logical arrives.
+ + + + + +
SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both,so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
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Jul 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: boss, employee, funny, hilarious, jokes, laughter, man, testicles, woman
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two
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Jul 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bishop, church, elderly, funny, hilarious, jokes, man, minister, morning, pastor, pope, preacher, priest, reverend, seniors, sex, Sunday, woman
This is pretty good.
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said ‘Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to
help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn
that comes to your mind.”
The pastor shouted out ‘CROSS.’ Immediately the congregation started singing in
unison, ‘THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.’
The pastor hollered out ‘GRACE.’ The congregation began to sing ‘AMAZING GRACE’,
how sweet the sound.’
The pastor said ‘POWER.’ The congregation sang ‘THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.’
The Pastor said ‘SEX’ The congregation fell into total silence.
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Jul 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aid, aroma, assistance, boobs, boss, breasts, computer, doctor, duty, employee, employer, exam, fax, fragrance, funny, health, hilarious, hospital, humor, internet, job, jokes, journey, laughter, man, manager, money, nurse, odor, office, online, patient, perfume, physician, printer, scent, smiles, specialist, task, test, travel, woman, work
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Jacksonville, Florida , and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more -
‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he asks the guy behind the desk.
The Job Centre man sorts through his files & replies - ‘Oh yes here it is:
The job entails you getting the lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and carefully wash their genital regions. You
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Jul 25 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: anger, anxiety, art, artist, bird, bliss, body, breakfast, cheer, christmas, companion, couple, depression, dinner, dress, eyes, fashion, food, funny, gift, happiness, hilarious, humor, husband, instruction, instructions, jokes, joy, language, laughter, legs, man, meal, mind, partner, perception, present, Santa, Santa Claus, sex, sign, smiles, snack, snacks, spouse, stress, style, surprise, tattoo, Thanksgiving, token, turkey, vision, wife, woman, words
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the Read More
Jul 25 2008
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: accident, actions, anger, blonde, boobs, breasts, car, computer, duty, era, fashion, fool, funny, game, hands, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, idiot, internet, job, jokes, laughter, letters, license, man, money, moron, neighbor, online, pharmacist, pharmacy, phone, power, printer, recipe, rivers, smiles, style, task, time, turkey, vehicle, water, weight, woman, work
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..
bottles won’t fit in the printer!!!
March
Got really excited…. I finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..
box said “2-4 years!”
April
Trapped on escalator for hours….power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions….8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing…….couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned
later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm…..car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
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Jul 25 2008