Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: drunk, elderly, funny, hilarious, jokes, minister, pastor, preacher
A drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.
He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says,
“Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preacher..I sure am.”
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
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Jul 27 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, bliss, celebrity, child, companion, couple, designer, duty, family, forgiveness, funny, gold, happiness, health, hilarious, honesty, honor, humor, husband, job, jokes, joy, lake, language, laughter, leather, man, Mathematics, moral, ocean, others, partner, pearls, pond, reason, rivers, sea, seamstress, smiles, spouse, stream, task, time, tool, tools, water, wife, woman, words, work
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.
“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked
The seamstress replied, “No.”
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Jul 27 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: christmas, coffee, couple, drunk, funny, hilarious, jokes, man, wife, woman
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean…. so is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirin, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
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Jul 27 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, funny, humor, interview, jokes, laughter, lawyer, man, Mathematics, money, short, smiles, woman
A university committee was selecting a new dean. They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.
Each was asked this question during their interview: “How much is two plus two?”
The mathematician answered immediately, “Four.”
The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, “Four, plus or minus one.”
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Jul 27 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: barber, funny, jokes, man, money, short
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech,
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Jul 27 2008
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: blonde, doctor, funny, jokes, redhead, short, woman
A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible“, says the doctor. “Show me.”
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?”
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Jul 27 2008