Net Miles Of Smiles

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a long list.

“Excuse me,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.”

“Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

“Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.”

Comments (0) Jul 27 2008

A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five year old daughter.

As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.

During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant’s head.

With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked: “Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby???”

Comments (0) Jul 27 2008

Two guys are talking about their boss’s upcoming wedding. One says, “It’s ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 93 years old, and she’s just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?”

The other says, “Well, we have a name for it in my family.”

“What do you call it?”

“We call it a football wedding.”

The first asks, “What’s a football wedding?”

The other says, “She’s waiting for him to kick off!”

Comments (0) Jul 27 2008

Enjoy!

Have a bright, happy and blessed day!

——————————————————–

Kids are so funny! Just listen when they talk and you’ll
see what I mean. Here are some definitions and test
answers from kids (spelling errors included!).

——————————————————–

Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Hydrogin is gin and water.

——–

Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration and then expectoration.

The pistol of a flower is it’s only protection.

Germinate: to become a naturalized German.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Read More

Comments (0) Jul 27 2008

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs.
A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did. The man advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing, she announced to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who

Read More

Comments (0) Jul 27 2008

OH, the last one is good. As they say, They are out there !

+ + + +

HELLO OPERATOR Read them all, these are great!
Actual call center conversations!

+ + + +

Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through;
Can you help?’
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
Customer: ‘It’s on the door of your business.’
Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that we are open.’
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
Need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
Telephone Jack before cleaning.. Now, can you give me the
Number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’
———————————————————————-
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
Traveling in Australia ?’
Operator: ‘Does the product name give you a clue?’
———————————————————————-
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
‘If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel
To the other side of the car?’
———————————————————————-
Directory Enquiries
Caller: ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’
Caller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.’
———————————————————————-
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller: ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland .’
———————————————————————-
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a
Worried operator: ‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.’
———————————————————————-
Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’
Customer: ‘OK.’
Tech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’
Customer: ‘No.’
Tech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Customer: ‘No.’
Tech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
Point?’
Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’
———————————————————————-
Tech Support: ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
You see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’
———————————————————————-
Caller: ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my
System clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’
———————————————————————-
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been
Promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed
From a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee
Was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
Went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing??’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I
Type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV..
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
The power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s
Plugged into the wall.
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one? ‘
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into
the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?’
Caller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s

Read More

Comments (1) Jul 27 2008