Personalized Plate

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
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While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services
for my personalized license plate, I heard the clerk shout
out, “E I E I O.”

“I’m here,” the woman standing next to me answered.

Curious, I asked if she was a farmer or maybe taught
kindergarten.

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008

A BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show
in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes
when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
“I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008

New Math?

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008

” Poof! “

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river.

They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.

The first man prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.

” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying,

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008

Words of Wisdom From Children…

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. - Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. - Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9

5. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. -Taylia, 11

6. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14

7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9

8. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9

9. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008

I love this one!‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
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Remember….
Once you get over the hill, you’ll begin to pick up speed.

..

I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put some in the food.

..

….If it weren’t for STRESS
I’d have no energy at all.

..

Whatever hits the fan…

Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.

..

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some, like me, just don’t have any film.
I always know…
God won’t give me more than I can handle

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Comments (0) Aug 30 2008