Net Miles Of Smiles

Interview with an 80-year-old Woman

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old

lady because she had just gotten married — for the 4th time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about

what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about

her new husband’s occupation.

‘He’s a funeral director,’ she answered.

‘Interesting,’ the newsman thought. He then asked her if

she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three

husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect

on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her

face and she answered proudly, explaining that she’d first

married a banker when she was in her early 20’s, then a

circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, later on a preacher

when in her 60’s, and now in her 80’s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and

asked why she had married four men with such diverse

careers.

She smiled and explained, ‘I married one for the money,

two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’

Comments (0) Aug 05 2008

A Sunday school teacher asked her pupils, “Now,

children, do you all say your prayers at night?”

A little boy answered, “My mommy says my prayers.”

“I see,” said the teacher. “And what does your mother say?”

The little boy replied, “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!”

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A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- V. Borge

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Comments (0) Aug 05 2008

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any real interest

in his paintings which had been on display for the previous few
weeks.

‘I have good news and bad news, ‘the owner replied. ‘The good news is

that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would

appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he

bought all 17 of your paintings.’

‘That’s wonderful, absolutely marvelous’, the artist exclaimed.

‘What’s the bad news?’

‘The buyer was your doctor.’

Comments (0) Aug 05 2008

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Chatterjee stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Pappu, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Pappu looked up and replied, “Well, Mrs. Chatterjee, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Comments (0) Aug 05 2008

Here’s the simplified version of Chinese language. A lot of things make sense here. Do check it out and try to understand them:

Wai U Shao Ting — There is no reason to raise your voice.

Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift

Dum Gai - A stupid person

Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?

Kum Hia - Approach me

Read More

Comments (0) Aug 05 2008

When I was a toddler, someone gave me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. My father was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water, of course.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, ‘Just the cutest thing!’

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.

She watches him drink it up and then says, “Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Comments (0) Aug 05 2008