Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: child, couple, doctor, dream, family, funny, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, man, parent, smiles, wife, woman
Moishe has been lying ill for weeks.
A few days ago he slipped into a coma, and everyone feared the worst.
The family is called.
The son from Miami.
The daughter from Bridgewater.
The aunts and the uncles all sit waiting for the end.
Suddenly a miracle!
Moishe opens his eyes.
Weakly he motions for his son to approach so he can talk to him.
Moishe is weak from illness and so his voice is very faint as he says, “I’ve been ill?”
“Yes, papa,” replies the son with tears choking his voice, “Very ill.”
Papa nods and speaks again. “I had a dream. I was nearing death when I suddenly smelled the aroma of your mother’s apple strudel. I love that strudel. As wonderful a cook as my Sadie is, that strudel is her masterpiece.”
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Aug 07 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
How To Tell If You’re Over The Hill:
You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.
The only reason you’re still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.
People ask you what color your hair used to be.
You enjoy watching the news.
Your car must have four doors.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You have a dream about prunes.
You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.
You start worrying when your supply of Ben Gay is low.
You think a C.D. is a certificate of deposit.
You have more than 2 pairs of glasses.
You read the obituaries daily.
Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.
You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
Aug 07 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
While watching a movie recently, I couldn’t hear the dialogue over
the
chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it
any
longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I can’t hear.”
“I should hope not,” she replied sharply. “This is a private
conversation.”
Aug 07 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: America, American, bar, beer, champagne, Chinese, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, Japanese, jokes, language, laughter, man, movie, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, vodka, whiskey, words
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.”
The astonished Chinese man replied “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese”. “Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says “You sank the Titanic, my
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Aug 07 2008
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY".
by Unknown
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.”
The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, Daddy.”
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each one of us, as human beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses… from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.
Aug 07 2008
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away".
“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand
of God, that he may exalt you in due time.”
1 Peter 5:6
Aug 07 2008