Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
A priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know
how little you think of his evil.”
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”
The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought
to aggravate anybody.”
Aug 11 2008
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, he asked what had happened.
“The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.”
“What about the other one?”
“They called back.”
Aug 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
A man speed down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars
all traveling at the same speed. However, when he passed a
patrol car, it pulled out behind him, lights flashing.
The police officer handed him a citation, took the driver’s
signature and was starting to walk away when the man said,
“Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair.
Plenty of other drivers around me were going just as fast.
Why did I get a ticket?”
“Ever go fishing?” the policeman asked.
“Um, yeah …” the startled man replied.
“Ever catch all the fish?”
Aug 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend’s yard sale and said to her, “My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found,” her friend replied.
“Normally, yes,” she said. “But he just broke his leg and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”
Aug 11 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says,
“Look, lady, you’ve got to let me get up. I’m two miles past my stop already.”
Aug 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
A woman called to make reservations “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the woman.
After some searching, the agent came back with “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.”
The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered.
“You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal” was the reply.
Aug 11 2008