Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: beauty, celebrity, charm, dog, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, smiles
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street
when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort
to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in
front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on
themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors,
she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can
use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an imaginative,
intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says,
“I love liver and cheese.”
“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no
imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says
“How well can you do?”
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Aug 12 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: army, food, funny, heroes, humor, jokes, laughter, man, military, short, smiles, soldier, troops, war
When my brother-in-law, Jeff, an Army sergeant,
got back from Operation Desert Storm, his name
was proudly displayed in the window of our local
grocery store.
But when I told him I had seen the display, he didn’t
seem enthusiastic. “Yesterday, I was famous,” he said
dryly, “but today I got replaced by some guy named
Chuck Roast.”
Aug 12 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, ant, ants, boss, child, classroom, duty, food, funny, history, humor, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, lesson, school, short, smiles, task, teacher, weight, words, work
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds
a natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them,
“can carry pieces of food five times their own weight.
What do you conclude from that?”
One child was ready with the answer: “They don’t have
a union.”
Aug 12 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: airport, attendant, captain, church, flight, funny, humor, jokes, laughter, man, minister, pastor, pilot, plane, preacher, priest, rabbi, season, sermon, short, smiles, ticket
Morris a young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play
football.
At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck
would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport.
The rabbi asked, “Are they trying to convert you at
Notre Dame?”
The youngster said, “Of course not, Father!”
Aug 12 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, church, elderly, forgiveness, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, man, minister, pastor, preacher, priest, seniors, sermon, smiles, Sunday, woman, world
In his Sunday sermon, the minister used “Forgive Your
Enemies” as his subject. After the sermon, he asked how
many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held
up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another
twenty minutes and repeated his question. This received a
response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for
fifteen more minutes and repeated his question.
All responded except one elderly gentleman in the rear.
“Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any.”
“Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
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Aug 12 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: action, anger, attitude, behavior, deer, elephant, exam, feeling, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, lightning, lion, Mathematics, might, monkey, morning, noise, power, quiz, sleep, smiles, sound, test, vehicle, voice, wagon, words
A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went
out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is
mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”
Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows, “Who is
mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified deer stammers, “Oh great lion, you are by
far the mightiest animal in the jungle!”
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and
roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with
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Aug 12 2008