Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Two guys chatting in a bar:
First guy: Tell me three fastest ways of communication? But hey, the first three letters gotta be “Tel”.
Second guy: Well, lemme see, Telephone, Television…ummm…
The second guy starts to think about other possibilites.
First guy: Okay, I’ll tell you, the fastest means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3.Tell something to a Woman and if you still want it to be way FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
Aug 14 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Year after year Bubba’s wife pleaded with him to take her
fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She,
finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one
morning they took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish began biting.
Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled
it in. After catching their limit, Bubba said, “Verna Lou, sweet
thang, I’m sorry. You’ve been good luck and I’m gonna bring
you with me the next time. If you’ll mark the spot where we
caught all these fish, we’ll go home.”
On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said,
“Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are
so next time I’ll know?”
“Bubba, darlin’, I put a big ‘X’ on the side of the boat right
down closest to the water.”
“Sweet thang, that’s about the dumbest thing I ever seed you
do. Don’t you know that won’t work? We may not get the
same boat the next time!”
Aug 14 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accountant, butt, doctor, electrician, funny, hilarious, hospital, job, jokes, patient, politician, surgeon
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers…those guys always
Read More
Aug 14 2008
Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: day, feelings, funny, heart, home, vision, voice
I’m feeling sick and getting worse.
I think I’d better see the nurse.
I’m sure I should go home today.
It could be fatal if I stay.
I’m nauseated, nearly ill.
@@@
I have a fever and a chill.
I have a cold. I have the flu.
I’m turning green and pink and blue.
I have the sweats. I have the shakes,
a stuffy nose, and bellyaches.
@@@
My knees are weak. My vision’s blurred.
My throat is sore. My voice is slurred.
I’m strewn with head lice, ticks, and mites.
I’m covered in mosquito bites.
@@@
Read More
Aug 14 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Mr. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to her classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer.
With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, “A lawyer!”
——————————
Today’s Funny Quote:
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to but
if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
– Unknown
——————————
Aug 14 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
While visiting my son on his Army base, I chatted with
a colleague of his.
“What rank are you?” I asked.
“I’m relieved to say that I’ve just been promoted from
captain to major.”
“Relieved? Why?”
“Because,” he replied, “my last name is Hook.”
Aug 14 2008