Net Miles Of Smiles

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord of the river appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angeline Jolie “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is not true!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Angelina Jolie , you would have come up with Cameron Diaz . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so that’s why I said yes to Angelina Jolie .”

Comments (0) Aug 15 2008

A blind man is standing on the corner waiting for the street light
to change so he can cross the street. He is holding his familiar
red and white cane and in the other arm is a bag of groceries that
he has just purchased.

As he is waiting, a stray dog comes up to him, lifts its leg and
pisses all down the blind man’s leg, into his pants cuff, and all
over his sock and into his shoe.

By way of response, the blind man merely removes a cookie from
within his bag of groceries, bends over slightly with the cookie in
his outstreched hand and says, “Good doggie…good doggie, get the
cookie, good doggie, attaboy.”

A woman who was standing nearby, and who witnessed the entire
incident says to the blind man, “I can’t beleive you’re going to
reward that dog after what he just did.”

“No,” replied the blind man, “I’m just trying to find the dog’s
head, so I can kick him in the ass!”

Comments (0) Aug 15 2008

Since we all have met people that we can call friends, let me share some quotes with you….

“If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred
minus one day, so I never have to
live without you.”

“True friendship is like sound
health; the value of it is seldom
known until it be lost.”

“A real friend is one who
walks in when the rest of the
world walks out.”

“Don’t walk in front of me, I
may not follow. Don’t walk
behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend.”

“Strangers are just friends
waiting to happen.”

“Friendship is one mind in two
bodies.”

“Friends are God’s way of
taking care of us.”

“If all my friends were to
jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t
jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to
catch them”

“Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you
don’t say.”

“We all take different paths
in life, but no matter where we
go, we take a little of each other
everywhere”

“Hold a true friend with both
your hands.”

“A friend is someone who knows
the song in your heart and can
sing it back to you when you have
forgotten the words.”

There is nothing like a good friend!

Comments (0) Aug 15 2008

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.

He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers:

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

To stress his point he said to another guest; “You’re a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?”

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, “You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second,
then began…)

“Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can’t make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental…

You want to know what I make?” (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them criticize.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, because we live in the United States of America.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

“Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant…

You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make?”

THERE IS MUCH TRUTH IN THIS STATEMENT:

“Teachers make every other profession ”

Comments (0) Aug 15 2008

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As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

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DIRECTIONS TO OUR FATHER’S HOUSE.
..

Make a Right onto Believeth Blvd.
Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.
There, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith , which is over troubled
water.
When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight.
You are on the King’s Highway - Heaven-bound.
Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost.
Then exit off onto Grace Blvd.
From there, make a Right turn on Gospel Lane .
Keep Straight and then make another Right on Prayer Road
As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave.
Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END.
Pass up Envy Drive , and Hate Avenue .

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Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning;
for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way
wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
– Psalm 143:8

Comments (0) Aug 15 2008