Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: dinner, funny, humor, jokes, laughter, man, short, smiles, woman
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn’t believe it!
He said, “What’s wrong with you? We’re being boiled alive! They’re gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?”
The other missionary said, “I just p’ eed in the soup!”
Aug 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, car, child, dinner, father, food, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, man, neighbor, parent, smiles, traffic, vehicle, woman
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate.
“Hey, Willis,” he called out, “forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I’ll help you overturn the wagon.”
“That’s very nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Dad would like me to.”
“Aw, come on, son!” the farmer insisted.
“Well, OK,” the boy finally agreed, “but Dad won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. “I feel a lot better now, but I
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Aug 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, bliss, body, Canada, Canadian, check, couple, dinner, food, funds, funny, happiness, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, joy, laughter, loan, man, marriage, meat, money, restaurant, Russia, Russian, sandwich, sausage, smiles, spouse, Toronto, wife, woman
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the
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Aug 25 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: dinner, dog, funny, humor, jokes, laughter, man, short, smiles, woman
Why It’s Great to be a Dog
1) No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2) If it itches, you can scratch it.
3) There’s no such thing as bad food.
4) A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.
5) If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
6) You can lie around all day without worrying about being fired.
7) You don’t get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap.
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Aug 25 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: couple, diamonds, elderly, funny, husband, jewelry, jokes, man, ring, seniors, short, spouse, wife, woman
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood,
it turns green.
When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.
Aug 25 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: argument, colors, computer, fun, funny, funtime, game, golf, hilarious, humor, internet, jokes, language, laughter, law, lawyer, listening, man, online, pumpkin, rules, smiles, sports, Sunday, television, woman, words
Okay, Lighten Up and have a “Super” Terrific Day !
..
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ” the rules”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ”
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t
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Aug 25 2008