Net Miles Of Smiles

> You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where…..
>
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
>
> 2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
>
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
>
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
>
> 5. You know that ” dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the
> face when you open your oven door.
>
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
> ME??!!
>
>
> You can Live in California where…
>
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
>
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
>
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
>
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
>
> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
> it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
>
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
>
>
> You can Live in New York City where…
>
> 1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
>
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
> Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a m ap.
>
> 3. You think Central Park is “nature,”
>
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language makes you multi-lingual.
>
> 5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
>
> 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
>
> You can Live in Maine where…
>
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
>
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
>
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
>
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
>
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
>
> You can Live in the Deep South where…
>
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
>
> 2. “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
>
> 3. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
>
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
> Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
>
>
> You can live in Colorado where…
>
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
>
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up ‘Granola’ on his way home and he
> stops at the day care center.
>
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
>
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
>
> You can live in the Midwest where…
>
> 1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name .
>
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
>
> 3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
>
> 4. You end sentences with a preposi tion: “Where’s my coat at?”
>
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was
> different!”
>
>
> AND You can live in Florida where..
>
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
>
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
>
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist..
>
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
>
> 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.