Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70’s hair styles.
DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.
HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having correct change.
HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a
pool.
HERPES CINEPLEX: Rash caused by movie tickets priced at
$9.50.
CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER: Herbal-tea
addiction.
VISACARDITIS: The heart-stopping sensation brought on by
exceeding your credit limit.
SONSTROKE: An attack during the reading of a will.
ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME: Irrational fear that one’s infant
might be an alien.
OREOPOROSIS: Disorder caused by too many cookies, not enough
milk.
=====
Today’s Funny Quote:
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
– Unknown
=====
Have a TERRIFIC day!
Sep 04 2008
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: attendant, blonde, car, fool, funny, humor, idiot, job, jokes, laughter, license, money, smiles, task, vehicle, work
Gosh! It’s Blondes Like You
A Blonde takes her car to a garage. She asks if there’s any way they can fix the hail damage on her hood. Seeing that she was Blonde, the mechanic decided to have some fun with her. He tells her,
“Well, I’ll let you in on something. I’ll tell you how to do it on your own, and it will cost you nothing. Go home, and blow as hard as you can into the tail pipe. Then the dents will pop out!”
Read More
Sep 04 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Three Priests were in a railroad station on their way home to Pittsburgh .
Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight, skimpy sweater.
She made the three Priests very nervous, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first Priest approached the window. “Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburgh.” He completely lost his composure and fled.
The second Priest goes to the window. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes.” Mortified, he too fled.
“Morons…” the third Priest mutters and moves to the window. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger’s going to shake his Peter at you.”
They took the bus.
Sep 04 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, boss, check, chic, classic, craft, designer, duty, employee, employer, eyes, fashion, funds, funny, hand, hands, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, manager, mirror, money, reflection, sempstress, skill, skills, smiles, stunning, style, suit, supervisor, surprise, tailor, task, tool, tools, work, youth
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit.
A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets.
Read More
Sep 04 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Granny Adams made such beautiful pies!
One day I asked her, “How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?”
“Well, it’s a family secret”, she said, “but if you promise not to Tell, I’ll let you in on it.”
“OK”, I said. “Tell me!
“Well, first I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even.
Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put in the pie plate and make Sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate.
Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure that it’s not too full.
Next I cut out the top layer, and carefully put it over the filling.
Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust, and they make the nicest even impression you ever did see!”
Sep 04 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves.
He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves.
He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves.
He then comes in the back door, comes to the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him.
“I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!”
Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, “Man, how many bars do you work at?”
Sep 04 2008