Net Miles Of Smiles

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.

Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the

same day and has time booked for surgery the following week.

The second patient sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment,

then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for

another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months later.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first patient is a Golden Retriever. The second patient is a senior citizen.

Next time take me to a vet.

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008

A second grader child came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”

The mother, more than a little surprised, asked fearfully, “That’s interesting. How do you make babies?”

“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008

> A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot.
> One Summer
> they noticed a girl who
> was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t
> unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing;
> she would
> approach people who
> were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to
> them.
>
> Generally the people would respond negatively and she would
> wander off,
> but occasionally
> someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange
> of money and something she carried in her bag.
>
> The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the
> Police,
> but since they didn’t
> know for sure they just continued to watch her.
>
> After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever
> noticed that
> she only goes up to people
> with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”
>
> He hadn’t, and said so.
>
> Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big
> radio and go
> lie out on the beach.
> Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
>
> Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost
> hopping up
> and down with
> anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and
> then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the
> road.
>
> Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.
>
> “No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he
> should have.
>
> “Well, what is it, then? What does she do?” his wife fairly
> shrieked.
>
>
> The man grinned and said, “Her name is Sally, and she’s a battery
> salesperson.”
>
> “Batteries?” cried the wife.
>
> “Yes,” he replied.
>
> SCROLL DOWN.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> (You’re gonna hate me for this… Scroll down some more)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A little bit more………..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> She sells C cells by the seashore.

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn’t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough
draft before the masterpiece ( Women’s point of view ONLY)

Comments (0) Sep 05 2008