Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
“Michael, if you were on a date— having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.”
What about you Peter, how would you say it?”
Peter said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.”
“And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”
“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.”
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“U Don’t Stop Laughing Cause U Grow Old, U Grow Old Because U Stop Laughing!”
Sep 11 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn’t miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.
The old man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant, telling his wife she needs to be more responsible about her belongings.
When they finally arrived, as the old woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses the old man said, “While you’re in there, you may as well get my hat, too.”
Sep 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.
“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”
Sep 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped,
turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”
“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,
” explained the Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”
Sep 11 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it.
Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“OK,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
Sep 11 2008
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: blonde, funny, jokes, man
There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down.
When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute,unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulder”.
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Sep 11 2008