Net Miles Of Smiles

A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking. In self-defense the man says, “Who told you that drinking is bad?”

Nun : Mother Superior told me.

Man : So, have you ever tried it?

Nun : No, I haven’t ever taken a drink of hard liquor.

Man : Well, don’t criticize me if you haven’t tried it. I’ll tell you what if you try it and don’t like it,

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Comments (0) Sep 12 2008

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Grilled Democrat: $20.00
+ Baked Republican: $100.00

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YOU KNOW YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY WHEN…..

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels Motorcyclists.

You’ve been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse is unbuttoned.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.

You put both contacts into the same eye.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

You invite the peeping Tom in…and he says no.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.

People think that you’re 40 and you’re only 25.

The doctor says you are in fine health for someone twice your age.

+ + + +

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE……..

You call your spouse and tell them that you’d like to eat out tonight and when you get home, you find a sandwich on the front porch!!!!!

+ + + +

TRY TO HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!

____________
Be Well and Laugh Often… Yea!!!

Comments (0) Sep 12 2008

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

“No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.”

“I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.”

“You’ll let it out some day,” the man insisted.

“I hardly think so!” responded the lady. “When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.”

Comments (0) Sep 12 2008

Mrs. Greene —— teacher of biology.

Mr. Mudd —— teacher of earth science.

Mrs. Booker —— school librarian.

Mr. Strong —— gym teacher.

Mr. Sinn —— vice principal.

Mr. Ford —— Drivers’ Ed. teacher.

Miss Step —— dance teacher.

Mr. Leader —— band director.

Miss Story —— literature teacher.

Mrs. Payne —— school nurse.

Mrs. Stern —— principal.

Miss Cooke —— cafeteria.

Comments (0) Sep 12 2008

To view this message as a picture and music presentation, copy & paste the link below
http://thegoodnessoflife.com

” *<>**<>* ”

The Goodness of Life
by Ralph Marston

Though there is much
to be concerned about,
there is far, far more
for which to be thankful.

Though life’s goodness can
at times be overshadowed,
it is never outweighed.

For every single act
that is senselessly destructive,
there are thousands more small, quiet acts
of love, kindness and compassion.

For every person who seeks to hurt,
there are many, many more who
devote their lives to helping and to healing.

There is a goodness to life
that cannot be denied.

In the most magnificent vistas
and in the smallest details,
look closely,
for that goodness always
comes shining through.

There is no limit
to the goodness of life.
It grows more abundant
with each new encounter.
The more you experience and
appreciate the goodness of life
the more there is to be lived.

Even when the cold winds blow
and the world seems to be covered in foggy shadows,
the goodness of life lives on.
Open your eyes,
open your heart,
and you will see that
goodness everywhere.

Though the goodness of life
seems at times to suffer setbacks,
it always endures.

For in the darkest moments
it becomes vividly clear
that life is a priceless treasure.

And so the goodness of life
is made even stronger
by the very things
that would oppose it.

Time and time again
when you feared it was gone forever
you found that
the goodness of life
was really only
a moment away.

Around the next corner
Inside every moment
The goodness of life
Is there to surprise and delight you

Take a moment to let the goodness of life
touch your spirit and calm your thoughts.
Then, share your good fortune with another.
For the goodness of life grows
more and more magnificent
each time it is given away.

Though the problems constantly
scream for attention
and the conflicts appear
to rage ever stronger,
the goodness of life grows stronger still,
quietly, peacefully,
with more purpose and meaning
than ever before.

Copyright © 2004 Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

_____________________________

Psalm 143:8 Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Comments (0) Sep 12 2008