Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, anger, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, companion, couple, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, husband, Jamaican, jokes, laughter, lipstick, liquor, partner, reason, rum, scotch, short, smiles, spouse, tequila, time, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine
This angry Jamaican wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, phone
Tony Blair, Robert Mugabe & PJ Patterson all died &
went straight to hell. Tony Blair said “I miss
England, I want to call England and see how everybody
is doing there. He called and talked for about 5
minutes, then he asked “Well, devil how much do I owe
you for the call???? The devil says “10 million
dollars.” He wrote him a cheque and went to sit back
on his chair.
Robert Mugabe was so jealous, he starts screaming, “My
turn! I wanna call Zimbabwe, I want to see how
everybody is doing there too!” He called and talked
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bird, chicken, duty, farmer, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, job, jokes, labor, laughter, parrot, rooster, service, sex, smiles, task, work
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster–one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: “I have just the rooster for you. Spike here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!” So the farmer took Spike back to the farm.
Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Spike a little pep talk: “Spike,” he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, Spike strutted into the henhouse. Spike was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Spike had finished having his way with each hen.
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bar, bird, bride, companion, couple, dialect, dinner, drunk, fish, fishing, funny, game, groom, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, law, man, marriage, partner, patois, pub, rules, sex, smiles, sport, spouse, tablecloth, time, vernacular, wedding, wife, woman, words
Typical Jamaican man married typical good-looking Jamaican lady and
after the wedding, laid down the following rules: “Mi cum home when mi want, if mi want
and ah dohn expec noh assle from yu. Mi expect a good dinner pon de table
unless mi tell yu oderwise. Mi gwine shoot bird, fish, drink me whites, play
domino anytime me want wid me fren dem an mi noh wahn yu gi mi a hard time.
Those are my rules. Seen?”
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, Big Boy, bike, body, child, clothing, couple, designer, divorce, era, eyes, fashion, funny, granny, hilarious, history, humor, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, man, mother, mother-in-law, movement, noise, parents, penis, period, school, sex, short, smiles, sound, style, time, woman, words
A few months after his parents were divorced, Big Boy passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: accident, baby, brain, cemetery, child, dad, destination, dialect, duty, egg, eggs, entertainment, exercise, fashion, father, food, fool, fun, funny, funtime, ghost, granny, highway, hilarious, horse, humor, idiot, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, King, labor, lamb, language, laughter, man, medication, medicine, memory, mind, moron, mother, mother-in-law, nurse, obituary, path, patois, rhyme, road, sheep, smiles, stupid, style, task, tool, tools, tour, traffic, travel, treats, trip, vernacular, woman, words, work
Mary had a likkle lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes down quite a treat,
with rice and hard dough bread.
~*~
~Y~
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to de fair.
Said Simple Simon to de Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said de Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you fool whappin, you a hidiot!!
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Sep 13 2008