Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one,
our pastor was dependent on parishioners for upkeep and
maintenance of the church.
Once he asked my husband, Sam, to rewire the confessionals.
The only way to reach the wiring was to enter the attic
above the altar and crawl over the ceiling by balancing on
the rafters.
Concerned for my husband’s safety, I waited in a pew.
Unbeknownst to me, some parishioners were congregating in
the vestibule. They paid little attention to me, probably
assuming I was praying.
Worried about my husband, I looked up toward the ceiling and
yelled, “Sam, Sam, are you up there? Did you make it okay?”
There was quite an outburst from the vestibule when Sam’s
hearty voice echoed down, “Yes, I made it up here just
fine!”
Sep 22 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, cemetery, court, devil, funny, ghost, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, lawyer, man, satan, service, short, smiles, woman
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized
as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
“That’s unfair!” he cried. I have to roast for all eternity and that lawyer gets to
Read More
Sep 22 2008
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirational Poetry.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, blessings, bliss, Christ, depression, duty, era, eyes, feeling, feelings, future, God, gratitude, happiness, heart, hope, inspiration, Jesus, job, joy, knowledge, language, life, listening, Lord, love, man, memory, others, Savior, smiles, surprise, task, thankfulness, time, whisper, woman, words, work
GOD knows how hard you have tried.
When you’ve cried so long your
heart is in anguish,
GOD has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold
and time has passed you by,
GOD is waiting for you.
When nothing makes sense and you
are confused or frustrated,
GOD has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter
and you find traces of hope,
GOD has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you
have much to be thankful for,
Read More
Sep 22 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, anger, argument, computer, devil, duty, earth, era, evil, exam, eyes, funny, global, globe, God, Heaven, hell, hilarious, history, humor, internet, Jesus, job, jokes, judge, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, lightning, listening, mail, man, might, mouse, movement, online, others, period, power, printer, quiz, rain, rainbow, result, satan, Savior, sky, smiles, sound, task, test, thunder, time, universe, voice, water, woman, words, work, world
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with
Heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder
Read More
Sep 22 2008
Posted: under LOVE Poetry.
Tags: appreciation, bliss, care, caring, computer, feeling, friends, gratitude, happiness, inspiration, internet, joy, language, light, love, man, online, others, sharing, smiles, star, time, woman, words
Did anyone ever tell you
Just how special you are?
The light that you emit
Might even light a star.
~*~
Did anyone ever tell you
How important you make others feel?
Somebody out here is smiling
About love that is so real.
~*~
Did anyone ever tell you
Many times, when they were sad
Your email made them smile a bit.
In fact it made them glad?
For the time you spend sending things
Read More
Sep 22 2008
Posted: under Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, bliss, car, depression, fun, happiness, interest, joy, life, lifestyle, man, mind, money, music, office, relaxation, rest, restaurant, reward, stress, tips, woman
A Debt Free lifestyle is easier to attain than you think. It doesn’t matter how much money you make or how in debt you are. Once you learn how the only bills you’ll pay are utilities. No mortgage, no car payments.
* * * * * *
STEPS
1. Stop adding to your debt.
Cut up the credit cards and throw away the checks so you can’t bounce one. Do not sign up for any more credit cards or loan offers. Stay away from Pay Day Loans. Remember - If you can’t afford it today, you can’t afford it tomorrow (meaning don’t expect to pay tomorrow for debts incurred today at the gaming store).
2. Admit you are in debt and start living like it.
Read More
Sep 22 2008