Net Miles Of Smiles

A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one..” The man thought for a minute and said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I’m afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be built from here to Hawaii.”

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008

I love my Job
I love my Job, I love the Pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my Boss; he’s the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my Office and its location -
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
and the paper that piles up every day!
I love my chair in my padded Cell!
There’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my Peers -
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my Computer and all its Software;
I hug it often though it doesn’t care…
I love each Program and every File,
I try to understand once in a while!!
I’m happy to be here, I am I am;
I’m the happiest Slave of my uncle Sam.

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008

Once there was an explorer lost in the deepest part of the Amazon. After a few days, he finds himself suddenly surrounded by hundreds of blood-thirsty natives. He looks up to the sky and says, “Oh my God, I’m screwed!!”

All of a sudden, the sky opens up, and then there is a beam of light streaming down on him, and a voice booms out, “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your foot, and smash it onto the skull of the chief.”

So the explorer looks down, and sees the stone. He picks it up, and bash the life out of the

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008

A young girl, not terribly experienced with men, ended up marrying an older man. Her mother agreed to stay in the house on the wedding night to give her any advice she may need, since she was a bit nervous.

The happy couple retired to their bedroom, and he took off his shirt.

The bride ran out of the room and off to her mother.

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008

See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud…

+++++++

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

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Comments (0) Sep 27 2008