“Get me this…” “Do this for me now!” “Don’t do that!” “Listen to me!”
Those commands don’t sound super-friendly, do they? Those commands—and a whole bunch of other ones just like ‘em—are frequently used by bossy people. You want to mess up your friendships? Here’s a tip: Start bossing your friends around.
Most people don’t like to be bossed around. Grown-ups don’t even like to be bossed around by their bosses, even though that’s kinda what bosses are supposed to do. But since you aren’t the boss of your friends (unless you’re paying them to be your friends, which would be really odd), you have no reason to boss them around, and they have no reason to put up with it.
In any circle of friends, there will be one or two people who sort of rise to the top, and then everyone else views them as the leaders. This is pretty natural, but it can get bad when it results in bossiness.
If your friends happen to view you as a leader, avoid the temptation to use that position as an excuse to tell everybody how they should behave, what they should do, and when they should do it. If you’re one of the leaders of the pack, your friends probably value your opinion quite a bit, so don’t be afraid to share it. But try to share your opinions in a way that doesn’t make your friends feel like you think you’re better than they are.
If you aren’t the leader of your pack, it can become really tempting to try to increase your influence by becoming bossy. You may think that by getting a little more vocal and by bossing people around, you’ll improve your position within your circle of friends. There are two problems with this idea. First, that’s an example of the wrong type of competition, which we talked about a few chapters ago in this book. Second, your friends will notice you’ve changed and you’re beginning to act like a jerk. Your really good friends might be willing to pull you aside and talk to you about it, but the rest of them will just decide they don’t want to be your friends anymore.
Enough about bossiness. Go ahead and finish this newsletter! Oops! Did that sound too bossy?
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Taken from “My Friends” by Kurt Johnston and Mark Oestreicher, copyright 2007, Zondervan/Youth Specialties. Used by permission.
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Deep Thought For The Day
“I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.”
– Anon.
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“Life is precious, handle with PRAYER!”
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