Dam fish…

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, “Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that.”

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008

If he went to hell…

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008

Military Time

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: , , , , ,

My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock.

One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The

person who answered told her to call me at the extension in

the band rehearsal hall.

“He can be reached at 4700, Ma’am,” the soldier advised.

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008

Talk to God

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

During “children’s time” in the worship service, the kids

came forward and the pastor, wanting to teach about

prayer, asked, “How can we talk with God?”

The pastor produced paper and envelope and said,

“Maybe we can write God a letter. Does anyone know

God’s address?”

The group said no.

Then the pastor pulled out his cell phone and said, “Maybe

we can telephone God. Does anyone know God’s phone

number?”

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008

BABYSITTING

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge

of our three energetic youngsters.

When we returned a few hours later, she was sitting alone

watching TV.

I went to check on the children and found them in our narrow

hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls,

two of them had climbed up to the ceiling.

“The babysitter taught us how,” they said gleefully.

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008

WEIGHT TODAY

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: , , , , ,

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain

to me about the long delay she always endured.

One day, when my aunt’s name was finally called, she was

asked to step on the scale. “I need to get your weight today,”

said the nurse.

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 11 2008