Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, butt, car, companion, cop, couple, dictionary, dinner, funny, gold, hilarious, home, hotel, House, humor, husband, jail, jewelry, job, jokes, language, laughter, lesson, money, mother-in-law, officer, partner, patrolman, penis, police, rectum, road, rolex, sex, sheriff, smiles, task, traffic, travel, vehicle, wife, words, work
Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s homework assignment.
He must use each word in a sentence ..*
…
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillacs, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol’ me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctor’s and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, “man, it look fake.” He say, “Bullshit, that watch israel”…..
9. Undermine - There’s a fine lookin’ ho who live in the apartment undermine.
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: cemetery, check, companion, couple, dialect, duty, exam, funny, ghost, government, home, House, humor, husband, instruction, interview, Jamaican, job, jokes, language, laughter, Mathematics, partner, patois, smiles, spouse, task, test, time, vernacular, wife, words, work
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists - An American man, an English Man and a Jamaican man.
For the final test, the CIA agents took the American man to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, anger, anxiety, baby, behavior, boobs, breasts, bus, cab, car, check, community, companion, compliment, cop, country, couple, cure, depression, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, fashion, favor, feeling, feelings, fool, foreign, funds, funny, glasses, global, globe, gold, health, highway, hilarious, homeless, hotel, humor, husband, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, license, man, money, morning, moron, motel, music, neighbor, neighborhood, officer, others, partner, path, patois, patrolman, penis, phone, policeman, private, prostitute, pussy, reggae, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, sound, Spanish Town, spouse, stress, stupid, style, sunglasses, system, task, taxes, taxi, teeth, time, touch, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, universe, vagina, vehicle, vernacular, village, voice, weight, whore, wife, woman, words, work, world
You have probably heard that they will be putting toll booths on parts of Highway 2000 in JA. This is probably what the first day will be like:
..
Toll Booth Collector: Morning sir, the toll will be $55.
Skinny the Taximan: $55 unda yuh Mumma! Yuh know how long mi a drive pon dis yah road yah and now oonu want come charge man fi drive pon we owna road. Is kill oonu want kill off poor people! Mi naw pay dat!
..
TB Collector: Sir, you don’t have a choice, please pay the toll or I’ll be forced to call the officer standing right over there.
Skinny: Which officer yuh a talk bout? Weh part him deh?
..
TB Collector: Yuh see the officer standing over there with the gold-teeth, the dark glasses, the bend-up face, and the M-16? Yes dat same one?
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, butt, car, child, classic, dad, dialect, drug, drugs, era, father, funny, history, humor, Jamaican, jokes, King, language, laughter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, model, morning, patois, penis, period, pharmacist, pharmacy, private, rectum, sex, smiles, son, time, touch, vehicle, vernacular, words, youth
Deedo the well known Drug Kingpin had a teenage son to whom he gave a brand new Honda Accord. After six months of driving the car he went to his father.
Deedo’s son:”Dad I man realise u step up in life, therefore, I man want a Bimma instead of this piece of shiiiit”.
Deedo :”Son can your dick touch your ass”.
Deedo’s son:”No”
Deedo :”Then move out of my face”
Six months later he went back.
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: accident, body, bonus, boss, brain, cemetery, check, decision, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, funds, funny, ghost, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, labor, land, language, laughter, manager, Mathematics, money, noise, obituary, patois, smiles, sound, supervisor, task, vernacular, voice, words, work
A bunch of guys were working on a 50 story construction site; a guy working at the top accidentally knocked a brick off the 50th story; when looking down he saw that his boss was in line for the brick to land on his nekked head and briskly yelled, “Falling Brick”. The boss looked up, after hearing the yell, and moved to one side as the brick crashed to the ground.
The boss looked up at the worker and yelled, “A $100 bonus for you laddy”.
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Friendship Poetry.
Tags: aid, blessings, duty, friends, friendship, job, labor, life, love, sunrise, sunset, task, thought, wisdom, work
There’s lots of things
With which I’m blessed,
Tho’ my life’s been both Sunny and Blue,
But of all my blessings,
This one’s the best:
~*~
To have a friend like you.
In times of trouble
Friends will say,
“Just ask… I’ll help you through it.”
~*~
But you don’t wait for me to ask,
Read More
Oct 12 2008