Posted: under Inspirational Poetry.
Tags: art, artist, beauty, butterfly, care, colors, daffodil, designer, eternity, fashion, flight, flowers, garden, God, gratitude, home, House, inspiration, lake, Lord, love, nature, ocean, pond, present, rain, rainbow, rivers, rose, roses, sound, stream, style, sunshine, thankfulness, voice, water, whisper, wishes
Pretty Monarch butterfly in the sunny sky
Zig zagging to and fro as you fly
Where will the breeze carry you this day?
To a flower laden land so far away?
+=+=+
You’ve brightened my day in your passing
With colors of black and orange quite dashing!
God’s handiwork is evident in your design
Just as it is present in all of mankind.
+=+=+
Let me take notice of God’s artistry
Found in all nature it’s no mystery
God made the Monarch for you and me
To whisper “I love you” unconditionally!
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Oct 15 2008
Posted: under "DEVOTIONAL for DIETERS".
Tags: diet, dieter, food, God, happiness, inspiration, joy, meal, psalm, seeds, thought, victory
Psalms 126:6
He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
…
The groaning was over. The long nights of hunger lay behind. For some strange reason, the diet was getting easier. Finally, Diane’s body had gotten the message that snacks and heavy meals were no more. The cravings and cryings of her stomach subsided. It had been a tough war, but Diane felt she had scored a victory at long last. All the weeping was behind, and she felt a wonderful joy. She knew that plenty of tough times lay ahead, but
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Oct 15 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, car, champagne, cowboy, drunk, duty, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, liquor, man, penis, pub, rum, scotch, secret, smiles, sugar, task, tequila, time, vodka, waiter, waitress, watch, whiskey, wine, woman, work
A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar.
“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.” When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?” The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
“The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ that guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.” The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?” the fella proudly replies, “‘Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!’”
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fella’s on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you guys call yours?” The first man
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, argument, bank, body, car, check, chic, classic, companion, couple, designer, earth, era, exercise, fashion, funds, funny, garden, gift, hand, hands, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, jokes, lake, land, laughter, leather, license, man, memory, model, money, morning, ocean, palace, partner, period, phone, pond, pool, present, rivers, salesman, sea, smiles, spouse, style, surprise, time, token, traffic, vehicle, water, wife, woman
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
“Yes.”
“Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
“What’s the price?”
“Only $1,500.00.”
“Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much … ”
“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price … and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year … ”
“What price did he quote you?”
“Only $60,000 … ”
“OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
“Great! But before we hang up, something else … ”
“What?”
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Oct 15 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, anxiety, body, cemetery, color, colors, companion, couple, depression, dessert, dinner, fashion, finger, fingers, food, funny, ghost, hair, hairdo, hairstyle, hand, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, jokes, language, laughter, law, man, meal, partner, relaxation, rest, rules, smiles, spouse, stress, style, treats, wife, woman, words
A husband had just finished a book titled, “Man of the House.” He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then,
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Oct 15 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: airline, airport, anxiety, British, Caribbean, children, companion, couple, depression, flight, funny, hilarious, honeymoon, humor, husband, jar, jokes, language, laughter, magazine, man, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, partner, plane, sex, smiles, spouse, stress, time, vacation, wedding, wife, woman, words
A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but “Nescafe.” Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: “Good till the last drop.” Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “Benson & Hedges.” Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: “Extra Long. King Size.” She was again
slightly embarrased but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing.
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Oct 15 2008