Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: anger, belief, body, boss, cemetery, check, college, company, computer, courage, decision, dialect, direction, duty, education, employee, employer, faith, fool, funny, ghost, guidance, health, hilarious, honor, humor, idiot, intelligence, internet, jail, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, language, laughter, light, Lord, love, man, manager, Mathematics, money, morning, moron, online, others, patois, peace, power, praise, prayer, present, psalm, road, school, smiles, source, strength, supervisor, task, time, travel, vernacular, woman, words, work
The Lord ah mi one boss, and mi nuh fi want nutt’n.
Ah Him ah prevent mi from tell off people everyday.
Ah Him ah gimme peace, when so-so madness a gwan roun’ mi.
Ah Him ah remine mi fi pray and fi do everyting widout complain, murmur or kiss mi teet.
Ah Him ah remine mi dat ah Him, noh mi job, ah mi source, although lickle more pay woulda nice.
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Jan 04 2009
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bus, cab, car, cop, dialect, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, officer, patois, patrolman, police, robber, sheriff, smiles, taxi, thief, time, vehicle, vernacular, words
Trevor and Tony are walking home from Greater Portmore to Waterford after a night of drinking. They have no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot. Trevor has an idea and says to Tony: “Go in deh and tief a bus so we can drive home and mi wi stay out ya and watch out fi di police”. Tony duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Trevor is wondering what the hell he is doing so long. Eventually Trevor sticks his head around the wall and sees Tony running from bus to bus and looking very worried. “What di hell
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, boss, brandy, champagne, dialect, drunk, duty, employee, employer, experience, fish, fishing, funny, gin, highway, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, language, laughter, liquor, man, manager, office, patois, pub, road, rum, salesman, scotch, smiles, supervisor, task, tequila, tour, tourist, travel, trip, vernacular, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, words, work
A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big Department
shopping complex looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The Jamaican young man says. “Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets a Kingston.”
Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.
I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”
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Jan 04 2009
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: dialect, earth, flight, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, man, moon, patois, phone, plane, show, smiles, sun, television, travel, universe, vehicle, vernacular, woman, words, world
A man called a popular Jamaican talk show and said: “Miss G, mi caan understand how people love do di same ting ova and ova.”
“Could you explain that my dear sir,” Miss G replied.
“Well maam, every day dem a sen man go a moon. Why dem caan sen smaddy go a sun?”
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Jan 04 2009