Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, channel, choice, companion, couple, exercise, eyes, husband, inspiration, language, life, listening, man, meals, mountain, partner, photos, program, show, sound, spouse, television, time, tips, vacation, vision, voice, volume, wife, woman, words
My wife and I are away on a retreat.
..
We decided to go to the hotel gym for a workout. The gym was
ultramodern and we were the only ones there. There were five
TV’s positioned over the treadmills and exercycles.
..
She wanted to watch a cooking show.
I wanted to watch a sci-fi program.
..
She got on the last treadmill on the left, I got on the last
treadmill on the right and we both tuned to different channels.
..
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, attorney, butt, car, cop, court, era, farmer, fool, funny, hilarious, horse, humor, idiot, jokes, journey, kindness, laughter, law, lawyer, license, moment, moral, moron, mountain, officer, patrolman, period, police, rectum, respect, road, rules, sheriff, show, smiles, stupid, ticket, time, tour, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, values, vehicle, weight
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and
the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and
in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the
farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and
as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were
buzzing around his head.The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there,
are ya?”
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, belief, desires, determination, dream, faith, hope, inspiration, learning, lesson, life, man, opportunity, purpose, time, touch, woman
I am the New Year. I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.
I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months.
All that you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it out with more determination.
All the good that you tried for and didn’t achieve is mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.
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Jan 05 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: air, alcohol, anger, arm, arms, bar, beer, birthday, brandy, cab, car, celebration, champagne, companion, couple, dance, dancer, destination, drunk, eyes, funny, gift, gin, highway, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, journey, language, laughter, liquor, noise, partner, party, passenger, path, perception, present, prostitute, pub, road, rum, scotch, sign, smiles, sound, sports, spouse, storm, surprise, tablecloth, taxi, team, tequila, token, traffic, vehicle, vodka, voice, waitress, whiskey, whore, wife, wind, wine, words
A wife decided to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrived at the club and the doorman said, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin?“
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh! no,” said Dave.
“He’s on my bowling team.”
When they got seated, a waitress asked Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and said,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, Bible, bird, bishop, car, caring, check, chicken, children, christmas, church, duty, elderly, era, eyes, family, funds, funny, gift, goodness, granny, gratitude, highway, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, letter, license, love, mail, Mathematics, minister, money, mother, mother-in-law, parrot, pastor, path, period, pope, preacher, present, priest, reading, reverend, road, seniors, sermon, shape, smiles, Sunday, surprise, task, thankfulness, time, token, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, treats, trip, turkey, vehicle, voice, wealth, words, work
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”
The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, aroma, baby, boat, boss, cemetery, companion, couple, day, duty, elderly, family, fart, feelings, fish, fishing, fool, fragrance, fun, funny, funtime, ghost, hilarious, humor, husband, idiot, job, jokes, lake, laughter, listening, man, manager, Mathematics, money, moron, ocean, odor, partner, perfume, pond, rain, rivers, scent, seniors, smiles, spouse, stream, supervisor, sympathy, task, time, twins, vacation, water, wife, woman, work
There was a pair of twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry’s wife died the same day Tom’s boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.”
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said “Fact is I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she