Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, belt, cashier, champagne, check, coffee, drunk, earth, eggs, food, fruit, fruits, funny, gin, global, globe, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, liquor, man, Mathematics, meat, money, pub, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, universe, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, weight, whiskey, wine, woman, words, world
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2 percent milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
The drunk says, “You must be single.”
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Jan 25 2009
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: black, celebrity, chic, color, colors, designer, dress, earrings, fashion, jewelry, make-up, photos, pumps, sexy, smiles, star, stunning, style
What’s Your Little Black Dress Style?
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Jan 25 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, bus, cemetery, champagne, children, church, cop, dad, drunk, duty, father, funny, ghost, gin, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, journey, laughter, law, letter, life, liquor, listening, Mathematics, minister, mother, movie, movies, officer, pastor, patrolman, police, preacher, priest, pub, reverend, road, rules, rum, scotch, sermon, sheriff, smiles, task, teacher, television, tequila, travel, trip, trooper, vodka, voice, whiskey, wine, wisdom, work
THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J. SIMPSON
…
“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.”
“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.”
“Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”
“If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
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Jan 25 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, frog, funny, hilarious, jokes, loan, teller
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is Patricia Whack.
‘Ms. Whack,’ he says, ‘I’d like to obtain a loan to buy a boat.’
Patti furrows her brow and asks, ‘Well, how much do you want to borrow?’
‘$30,000,’ the frog says.
The teller writes this down, then asks his name.
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Jan 25 2009
