I want a Divorce!!!!
..
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
..
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE
IT’S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I’LL VOTE FOR HIM.
..
OUTSTANDING!
..
HaHaHaHaHa!!!!!
..
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
..
We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
..
Here is a model separation agreement:
..
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion.
..
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a fair agreement.
After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes.
..
We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell
(You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
..
We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies
and illegal aliens.
We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and
rednecks.
We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC andHollywood.
..
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine , and we’ll retain the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
..
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion.
..
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a fair agreement.
After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes.
..
We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell
(You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies
and illegal aliens.
We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and
rednecks.
We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC andHollywood.
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.
When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we’ll help provide them security..
..
We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.
You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
..
We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
..
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
..
We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.
I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World
to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
..
We’ll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our
name and our flag.
..
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative
patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.
..
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.
Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
No comments yet.