Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: ant, ants, bank, bar, beer, car, champagne, child, cop, doctor, drunk, dumb, employee, fool, funny, gin, helicopter, hilarious, hospital, humor, idiot, jokes, laughter, license, liquor, man, money, moron, officer, patrolman, plane, police, restaurant, rum, scotch, sheriff, sign, smiles, stupid, tequila, traffic, whiskey, wine, woman
Wouldn’t it be nice to just give all the idiots of the world signs?
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Idiot # 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: funny, jokes, lawyer, short
I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerkwho passed the bar exam on his third try. This
fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading,
which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top
of the first page.
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, bank, car, check, classic, court, funds, funny, honor, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, loan, model, money, reason, robber, rules, short, smiles
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz
and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided
at the hearing.
“Your honour,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for
that dirty lawyer of mine.”
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: age, beauty, cat, children, congressman, dad, dog, era, family, father, first lady, first puppy, friends, gift, granny, lake, mother, mother-in-law, ocean, photos, pond, present, president, rain, rivers, secret, senator, smiles, source, stream, time, water, White House
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Bo had a secret get-acquainted session with the family at the White House a few weeks ago.
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Bo is the Obama’s new puppy.
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The little guy is a 6-month-old Portuguese water dog given to the Obama girls as a gift by that Portuguese water dog-lovin’ senator himself, Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts. The girls named it Bo — and let it be noted that you learned that here first. Malia and Sasha chose the name, because their cousins have a cat named Bo and because first lady Michelle Obama’s father was nicknamed Diddley, a source said. (Get it? Bo . . . Diddley?)
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Bo’s a handsome little guy. Well suited for formal occasions at the White House, he’s got tuxedo-black fur,
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: Bunny, Easter, funny, jokes, wife
10. Goes around telling children that Santa’s not real.
9. All the eggs seem to be hidden in dingy Irish pubs.
8. Says to one of the kids, “Tug my tail again and you’re on a milk carton.”
7. Created the “Melissa” computer virus.
6. Recently walked in on his wife and the Energizer Bunny.