Posted: under General Poetry.
Tags: account, age, aid, air, alcohol, America, American, bank, beer, belief, brandy, cemetery, champagne, check, children, contribution, cow, designer, dictionary, dinner, dog, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, family, fashion, fish, fishing, food, funds, gas, ghost, gin, global, globe, government, granny, highway, history, home, hope, House, humor, job, labor, land, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, liquor, marriage, money, mother, mother-in-law, nation, nut, nuts, obituary, pants, parent, period, phone, politics, road, rum, school, scotch, security, service, smiles, snack, snacks, style, tablecloth, task, taxes, tequila, time, treats, universe, vehicle, vodka, water, wealth, whiskey, wine, words, work, world
Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule.
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know, That you won’t be done till he has no dough.
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, chance, check, cold, color, control, dad, day, duty, father, father-in-law, food, friends, funds, funny, humor, ice, idea, job, jokes, language, laughter, light, man, Mathematics, money, others, pilot, salesman, smiles, snow, star, summer, task, television, vehicle, winter, woman, words, work
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, elderly, finances, funny, husband, jokes, lawyer, minister, money, pastor, preacher, priest, seniors, short, wife
My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be, decide to do without his aid.Recently the elderly minister of a small, strugglingchurch came in with a legal problem. Read More
Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: funny, jokes, problem, short
My son, Mike, was attempting to build a patio for the
first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them
out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was
too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared
more space. The next day Mike put the cement blocks
back down, only to find that the ground was too hard
to keep the patio level.
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: baby, blonde, companion, cop, couple, doctor, dog, eyes, fool, funny, hands, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, idiot, job, jokes, laughter, marriage, mirror, money, moron, nurse, office, officer, partner, patrolman, phone, physician, police, redhead, sheriff, sleep, smiles, specialist, spouse, surgeon, task, television, time, trooper, voice, wife, work
FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,listened a moment And said ‘How should I know,that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife said, ‘I don’t know, Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
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SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the Mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde Says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
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THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, So she goes out and
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: accident, America, American, attorney, bailiff, bus, car, check, cop, court, emotion, eyes, feelings, funds, funny, highway, humor, jail, jokes, journey, judge, language, laughter, lawyer, license, man, money, mood, morning, officer, others, patrolman, perception, policeman, road, sheriff, short, smiles, tour, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, vehicle, woman, words
The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal.“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. Read More
Apr 24 2009