Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, baby, birthday, bliss, body, cemetery, children, companion, couple, duty, era, flowers, food, funny, game, ghost, happiness, humor, husband, job, jokes, joy, labor, lake, laughter, man, Mathematics, ocean, office, partner, pond, pool, rivers, rose, roses, sea, sleep, smiles, sport, spouse, stream, task, thought, time, treats, water, weight, wife, woman, work
17. “I finished the Oreo’s.”
16. “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.”
15. “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby.”
14. “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever.”
13. “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl.”
12. “Darned if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”
11. “Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”
10. “Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!”
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Apr 25 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: anger, boss, check, clerk, cold, cough, cure, doctor, duty, employee, employer, fool, funds, funny, healing, health, hilarious, hospital, humor, idiot, job, jokes, labor, laughter, man, manager, medication, medicine, money, moron, nurse, office, pharmacist, pharmacy, prescription, short, smiles, stupid, sugar, supervisor, task, woman, work
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
“He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once.”
“Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily.
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Apr 25 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: bird, birth, birthday, blessings, butterfly, expectation, eyes, God, inspiration, light, listening, man, miracle, nature, singer, sound, star, touch, voice, volume
The man whispered
“God, speak to me.”
And a meadowlark sang
But the man did not hear.
..
So the man yelled
“God speak to me!”
And the thunder rolled across the sky
But the man did not listen.
..
The man looked around and said
“God let me see You.”
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Apr 25 2009
Posted: under General Poetry.
Tags: America, nation, politics, prosperity, service, taxes, world
Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule.
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know, That you won’t be done till he has no dough.
..
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, chance, check, cold, color, control, dad, day, duty, father, father-in-law, food, friends, funds, funny, humor, ice, idea, job, jokes, language, laughter, light, man, Mathematics, money, others, pilot, salesman, smiles, snow, star, summer, task, television, vehicle, winter, woman, words, work
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, elderly, finances, funny, husband, jokes, lawyer, minister, money, pastor, preacher, priest, seniors, short, wife
My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be, decide to do without his aid.Recently the elderly minister of a small, strugglingchurch came in with a legal problem. Read More
Apr 24 2009
