Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: funny, hilarious, jokes, laughter, smiles, world
Love is grand; divorce is at least a hundred grand.
Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
Remember: amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there.
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Jul 28 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, arms, attendant, car, echo, funny, highway, hilarious, horse, humor, indian, jokes, journey, language, laughter, New York, path, road, safety, security, service, smiles, sound, station, travel, trip, vehicle, voice, woman, words
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, “Yahoo!” and rode off.
“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service station attendant.
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Jul 28 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cold, companion, couple, eyes, funny, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, man, marriage, partner, smiles, spouse, station, ticket, train, wife, winter, woman
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.”
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got a better idea… let’s
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Jul 28 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: funny, hilarious, jokes, laughter, smiles
It may be that your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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At least you’re not being rectally probed by aliens.
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What if, at this very moment, you are living up to your full potential?
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The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, “I think I’ll drink
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Jul 28 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: date, family, friends, funny, jokes, short
Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with his cousin.Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before. “What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Bob, “I’ll be with her all night.”
“Don’t worry,” Alex says, “just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout ‘Aaaaaauuuggghhh!’ and fake a heart attack.”
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Jul 28 2009