Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: affection, age, aid, aim, arms, assistance, baby, blessings, bliss, caring, child, contribution, deed, deeds, difference, duty, earth, elderly, example, feelings, global, globe, goal, hand, hands, happiness, heart, helping, humor, influence, inspiration, job, joy, kindness, labor, laughter, life, love, man, morals, need, needs, neighbor, neighborhood, others, role model, seniors, smiles, soul, task, time, today, touch, universe, values, woman, work, world, youth
EVERYONE NEEDS A SMILE!!!
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“Infect the whole world with your SMILE one person at a time !”
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AS I LIVE EACH DAY,
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MAY I DO MY PART!
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TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND
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TOUCH ONE HEART.
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EACH DAY IT IS MY GOAL,
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TO BRING SMILES & LAUGHTER
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INTO A SOUL!
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Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bus, car, cop, drunk, funny, hilarious, jokes, license, life, officer, patrolman, police, school, sheriff, test, ticket, traffic, trooper, vehicle
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The following are purportedly a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (that is, Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
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1. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
What for? He can’t see my license plate.
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2. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
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3. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
Always wear a condom.
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4. When driving through fog, what should you use?
Your car.
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5. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
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6. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
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7. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
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Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, blonde, body, car, color, colors, designer, elderly, era, exam, exercise, eyes, fashion, fool, funny, glasses, hair, health, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, jogger, jokes, journey, language, laughter, license, light, magazine, moron, newspaper, noise, period, phone, quiz, reading, relaxation, rest, road, seniors, sign, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, style, test, time, travel, trip, vehicle, voice, words
Jane had been driving 16 hours straight and was still at least six hours away from her destination. It was almost eight o’clock in the morning and she was very tired.
After dozing off and nearly crashing into a telephone pole, she decided to pull onto a side road and rest.
Jane turned off the car and closed her eyes … drifting off to sleep, precious sleep …
When an old man in a bright blue jogging suit knocked on her window, scaring her half to death.
‘Sorry to wake you,’ he huffed, jogging in place. ‘But can you tell me what time it is?’
Jane glanced at her watch. ‘8:15,’ she said through the glass.
The old man thanked her, then left.
‘Just my luck,’ she muttered. ‘I’m parked on someone’s jogging route.’
With a sigh, she settled back into her seat and tried to fall asleep.
Two male joggers in their thirties knocked on her window. If she hadn’t been really tired, she would have found them cute. Now, they were just annoying.
‘Hi,’ the blonde jogger said.
‘Do you have the time?’ his brown-haired friend asked.
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Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, boss, cab, car, champagne, cop, drunk, funny, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, laughter, life, liquor, man, money, officer, patrolman, police, rum, scotch, sheriff, smiles, task, taxi, tequila, trooper, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, work
There’s this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.”
“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I
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Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, army, attorney, bank, bouquet, car, challenge, check, college, company, court, daffodil, earth, fax, flowers, funds, funny, global, globe, granny, hands, hilarious, hotel, humor, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, logistic, Mathematics, Memorial Day, military, money, morning, motel, mother, mother-in-law, party, path, phone, president, road, rose, roses, smiles, soldier, time, tips, traffic, travel, trust, universe, vehicle, veteran, war, wealth, wedding, woman, world
Phone won’t stop ringing? Here’s what you do…
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
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From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else’s calls 24 hours a day didn’t make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o’clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for
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Aug 01 2009