Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: charity, elderly, funny, jokes, minister, money, pastor, preacher, seniors, short
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
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After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.
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A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cop, drunk, friends, funny, hilarious, jokes, life, marriage, officer, police, taxes, wife
I’ll respect you in the morning.
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I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.
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You get this one, I’ll pay next time.
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My wife doesn’t understand me.
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Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.
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Of course I love you.
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I am getting a divorce.
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Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
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I never inhaled.
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It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.
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I never watch television except for PBS.
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…but we can still be good friends.
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She means nothing to me.
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Aug 09 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, anger, baby, birthday, duty, family, finance, funny, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, job, jokes, language, laughter, life, man, money, mother, mother-in-law, rain, smiles, talent, task, time, understanding, voice, water, woman, words, work
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Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
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Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
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Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
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Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
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Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
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Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
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Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
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Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
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Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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Aug 09 2009
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: actor, actress, age, airport, alcohol, Alexander Bustamante, America, beauty, bliss, Britain, British, Bunny Grant, bus, car, cheer, church, classic, companion, contest, contestant, couple, culture, custom, dance, dialect, difference, doctor, drugs, earth, engagement, England, Englishman, era, fashion, festival, flight, food, fun, funny, funtime, game, gift, graduation, growth, happiness, heritage, highway, hilarious, history, holiday, Hollywood, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, jonkanoo, journey, joy, Kingston, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, London, love, magazine, marriage, medication, medicine, memories, memory, minister, Miss Jamaica, Miss Lou, Miss World, model, money, music, Norman Manley, nurse, office, partner, party, passenger, pastor, path, patois, period, pharmacist, pharmacy, physician, plane, preacher, present, priest, prime minister, prize, queen, Queen Elizabeth, reggae, road, school, sermon, smiles, sport, sports, spouse, style, sugar, summer, Sunday, task, television, time, title, traffic, travel, treats, tropics, universe, vehicle, vernacular, wedding, West Indian, wife, words, work, world, youth
Miss Jamaica, Evelyn Andrade, Marries Dancing Partner Tony Verity
– Jet Magazine May 26, 1955
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Those who remember these shouldn’t still be working!!!!
— As a Jamaican you know you are getting old if:
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You had an exercise book with Queen Elizabeth and her husband on it
(instead of a ring binder).
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You used to listen to Redifussion.
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You wore Bata crepe to school, and bought Asham at the gate..
(Extra credit if you know what Asham was made of)
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You remember that the Lou and Ranny show used to come on at 7:00 PM
On a Sunday.
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You know what the initials T. A. D. P. Stand for.
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You know who Tony Verity was.
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You can name more than two of the characters in a Jonkanoo band.
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You know what boxing title Bunny Grant held.
Posted: under Daily Quotes.
Tags: earth, global, globe, humanity, journey, kindness, life, love, quotes, today, universe, world
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now, let me not defer, for I shall not pass this way again.
–William Penn
Aug 09 2009