Archives: 2009 August

CARIBREEZE “SMILEY” TREATS

Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS".
Tags: caramel, Caribbean, fruits, ice-cream, island, Jamaican, nutmeg, papaya, rum, smiles, taste, treats

Papaya Ice Cream Patch

ricotta cheesecake with icecream by [puamelia].

INGREDIENTS :

2 small Papayas (papaws) ( about 3 inches in diameter)
Rum raisin ice cream
caramel
4 tablespoons of nutmeg

.

METHOD:

Comments (0) Aug 12 2009

Actual Court Quotes

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: court, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, laughter, lawyer, marriage, smiles, wife

Judge by Simon Gurr.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

.

Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

.

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

.

Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

charlie by little tramp.

The Nun at Hooters

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, cheer, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, light, liquor, music, nun, priest, restaurant, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, vodka, whiskey, wine

And Old Nun After Church by Adam and Mary.

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

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The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’

.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

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She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?

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The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’

.

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.

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So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

Comments (0) Aug 11 2009

An Act of Charity

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: charity, elderly, funny, jokes, minister, money, pastor, preacher, seniors, short

Offering advice by WayneGrayson.

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come

The Biggest Lies‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cop, drunk, friends, funny, hilarious, jokes, life, marriage, officer, police, taxes, wife

drunk-man-sober-thoughts.gif drunk man image by HxCbby1369

I’ll respect you in the morning.

I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.

You get this one, I’ll pay next time.

My wife doesn’t understand me.

Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

I never inhaled.

It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.

I never watch television except for PBS.

…but we can still be good friends.

She means nothing to me.

Comments (0) Aug 09 2009

What Your Mother Really Means‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, anger, baby, birthday, duty, family, finance, funny, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, job, jokes, language, laughter, life, man, money, mother, mother-in-law, rain, smiles, talent, task, time, understanding, voice, water, woman, words, work

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Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Comments (0) Aug 09 2009

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Net Miles Of Smiles

“Go ahead infect the whole world with your smile one person at a time”

CARIBREEZE “SMILEY” TREATS

Papaya Ice Cream Patch

INGREDIENTS :

2 small Papayas (papaws) ( about 3 inches in diameter)

Rum raisin ice cream

caramel

4 tablespoons of nutmeg

.

METHOD:

Actual Court Quotes

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.

.

Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

.

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

.

Q: How old is your son — the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?” Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.