Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: airline, flight, funny, guitar, hilarious, jokes, link, music, video
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This is funny . . . actually hysterical:
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A musician named Dave Carroll recently had difficulty with United
Airlines. United apparently damaged his treasured Taylor guitar
($3500) during a flight. Dave spent over 9 months trying to get
United to pay for damages caused by baggage handlers to his custom
Taylor guitar. During his final exchange with the United Customer
Relations Manager, he stated that he was left with no choice other
than to create a music video for youtube exposing their lack of
cooperation. The Manager responded : “Good luck with that one, pal”.
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: christmas, dinner, funny, hilarious, jokes, meat, Thanksgiving, turkey
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Reach in and grab the giblets.
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Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
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I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
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Tying the legs together will keep the insides moist.
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Talk about a huge breast!
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: butt, christmas, dinner, food, funny, gravy, hilarious, jokes, Thanksgiving, turkey
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1. You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses
2. Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
3. Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian
4. The “Gravy Boat” your wife set out was a real 12′ boat !
5. The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland
6. You get grass stains on your butt after a walk, but never sat down
7. Your “Big Elvis Super-Belt” won’t even go around your waist
8.* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
9. You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: dinner, funny, hilarious, jokes, recipe, Thanksgiving, turkey
(where people call to get advice how to cook a turkey from the experts)
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* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded, “I don’t know, it’s still running around outside.”
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* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn’t Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California wanted to know how to roast a
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Dec 01 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: funny, happiness, hilarious, jokes, laughter, life, smiles
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A day without sunshine is like, night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Dec 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, butt, drinks, funny, hilarious, jokes, man, rum, wine, woman
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
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Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
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Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
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Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.