Big Boy Stories

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Picturesque View of a Sugar Plantation by Striderv.  
Picturesque view of a sugar plantation, Jamaica
~~
..

One day when  Big Boy was in class, the teacher asked…

..


“Who built the ark?”

..

Student: “Big Boy, you know?”

..

Big Boy: “Know wha??”

..

Teacher: “That is right, Big Boy, Noah built the ark

.

<><><><><><>
.

Big boy went to school and heard other students using ‘raas’; not

 knowing what it means he went home and said to his mother “mama wat raas mean?”

..

His mother replied “is di ting whey yuh fada heng im hat pon.”

..

The next day Big boy heard the word ‘fuckin’ being used. He went home and asked his father this time what it means. His father replied, “Dat a jus when u a put on clothes fi go somewhere.”

..

Big Boy heard yet another word, ‘bumbo’, so he went home and asked his parents what it means and was told that ‘bumbo’ is a walking stick.

..

It was now Sunday and pastor stopped by to give Big Boy and his parents a lift to church. When pastor saw that only Big Boy was ready to go he asked, “Where are your parents, boy?”

..

Big Boy replied, “Them upstairs fuckin so come een an put yuh hat pan dah raas deh an lean up yuh bumbo right deh suh!”

.

<><><><><><>
.

Big Boy’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Big Boy’s family was invited over to see the baby.

..

Before they left their house, Big Boy’s dad had a talk with him and
explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so
much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said
the word “ears” he would get the spanking of his life when they came back
home.

..

Big Boy told his dad he understood completely. When Big Boy looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.” The mother said, “Why, thank you, Big Boy.”

..

Big Boy said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and

 really beautiful eyes.” “Can he see?” asked Big Boy.

..

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will
have 20/20 vision.”

..

“That’s great”, said Big Boy, “cuz he’d be outta rass luck if he needed glasses.”

.

<><><><><><>

.

A few months after his parents were divorced, Big Boy passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

..

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

..

Big Boy ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”

  

 

 

 

No Comments

No comments yet.

Leave a comment