Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: boss, check, duty, employee, employer, experience, funds, funny, goodness, hilarious, job, jokes, labor, manager, money, salesman, task, wife, work
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A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
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The kid says,”Yeah. I was a salesman back in North Dakota.” Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and See how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
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After the store was locked up the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, “One”.
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The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?” The kid says, “$101,237.65″.
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The boss says, “$101,237.65?” What the heck did you sell?” The kid says, “First I sold him a
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: funny, gold, jokes, laughter, money, short, wife
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
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Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.
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Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?
A: They like to “go” first class!
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Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!
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Q: What’s Irish and stays out all night?
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, celebration, champagne, doctor, drunk, friends, funny, gin, hilarious, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, man, physician, pub, rum, scotch, specialist, tequila, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve got some bad news for you…you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room.
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There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, “Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.”
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After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less sober. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the Read More
Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, cop, drunk, funny, hilarious, jokes, man, police, pub, smiles, wife
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On Saint Patrick’s Day, an Irishman who had a little too much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.“So,” said the cop to the driver, “Where have you been?”“Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, champagne, drunk, era, Europe, fool, funny, gin, graduation, hilarious, humor, idiot, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, liquor, man, Mathematics, money, moron, pub, rum, school, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, twins, vodka, whiskey, wine
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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too!
Let’s have another round to Ireland.”
“Of Course,” replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from?”
“Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it,” says the first man.
“I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”
“Of course,” replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: baby, cop, elderly, funny, hilarious, jokes, laughter, Little Johnny, minister, money, pastor, police, preacher, priest, school, sermon, short, Sunday, teacher, wedding, wife
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1. Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why the groom wearing black?”
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2. A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!”
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3. Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
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4. An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.”
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5. A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do