YOU TOOK MY SPACE

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
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 Jesus on the Cross by ><((>.

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One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his car and got out.  Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said, ” I always park there!

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You took my place!”
 

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The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down A young
 lady from the church approached him and stated, “That ‘ s my seat! You took my place!”

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The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.

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After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, ” That ‘ s where I always sit! You took my place!” The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment,
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Comments (0) Apr 02 2010

Easter Bunny Accident

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Crazy Vintage Easter Bunny by mrybuckler

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A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.

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The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.

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The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

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A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

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“I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do? ”

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The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car

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Comments (2) Apr 02 2010

Do You Remember?‏

Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
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“SWEET, SWEET JAMAICA”

Waterfall at 'The Ruins' in Ocho Rios by Striderv.  

Waterfall at “The Ruins” in Ocho Rios, Jamaica
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I GUESS I may be getting just a teeny-weeny bit old, because I can remember when it was considered
rude to whistle in front of adults, the biggest bad words pickney used to cuss were ‘blouse and skirt’,'rahtid’ and ‘blow-wow’; and slackness was talking big bwoy stories.
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I am probably not so young anymore, I guess, because I can remember when people used to charter JOS bus to go to outing at Gunboat beach. And the beach dem was clean! And bad boys were the ones riding skate, and playing marbles and racing board horse in the gutter water after rain... I remember when children were afraid of Johnkunnu - now even police fraid a pickney, ’cause pickney a shotta!

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 Call me archaic, but I remember when school children never had such a wide range of colourfully creative
chemical concoctions and toxic adventures to choose from such as sweets and snacks. For example, I saw one
recently marked cheese tricks and when you read the fine print carefully, you realized that the ingredients did not include any cheese - so-so tricks!

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 But I suppose it must be old age, because I also remember that children used to eat jackfruit, juneplum, naseberry, guinep, hogplum and tinkin toe; we used to relish treats like bustamante-backbone, drops, gizzada, toto, cut-cake and grater-cake. MEN USED TO DANCE WITH WOMEN after asking if they could have this dance!!

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 I must be clearly approaching dinosaur status, because I can vividly recall a period when independence time meant street dance on every corner, and we never had to import carnival to have revelling in the streets, and float parades were magnificent. I must have come from them dark ages, but I remember when man used to go party to dance with woman, not to “par wid man”, and women never had to walk naked to get attention.

“Miss Jamaica Festival Queen 2008″

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But I am not quite ready for the rocking chair and adult diapers just yet. No papa! Still, I remember when Rasta was a lifestyle. Now dreadlocks is a hairstyle. I remember

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Comments (4) Apr 02 2010

Blonde Easter

Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
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Little angel holding Easter daffodils by IronRodArt - Royce Bair

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Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

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St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?”

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The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”

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“Wrong!” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?”

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The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

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St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “What is Easter?”

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The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

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Comments (0) Apr 01 2010

Top 20 April Fool’s Day Pranks

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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april fools by Community Friend

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  1. Ring your friend before he / she goes to work and say ” I’m so sorry to hear you got fired ! ” – Act surprised they didn’t know yet.
  2. Wet a tissue with milk and run around holding the tissue to your eye pretending you stuck your pen in your eye, when somebody comes close, squeeze the tissue to make the Milk spurt out all over the place.
  3. Place Cling-film over the toilet seat – an old prank but a good one !
  4. Ring your friend and pretend to be from the local GPs office. Tell them they might have Newcastles Disease ( a chicken disease – don’t tell them that ).
  5. Sign somebody up to an embarrasing email newsletter.
  6. Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your friend) wanted them to drop over at 11am – they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.
  7. Start a rumour that your company is being taken over and loads of staff will be made redundant. Watch the onset of panic.
  8. Put loads of Pencil (scribble and really build up the graphite) on a piece of paper and then rub around the eye and upper jaw. Then go around the office and say you were hit beacuse you didn’t get the report in on time.
  9. Advertise your bosses job in the local newspsper – (Great if you want to get fired !).
  10. Get a universal remote control and turn the volume up on all the TVs in your local TV shop, while standing nearby. Try be covert so you can keep doing it.
  11. If you are a manager or have employees under you, send people looking for made up items such as the dehydrated water, the hydraulic cement humidifier, the double sided transperencies, a fallopian tube, the blunt knife, a glass hammer.
  12. If you work in a restaurant, tell all employees that due to new fiar trade regulations, each serving of fries or chips must contain exactly 257 pieces.
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    Comments (0) Apr 01 2010

Happy April Fool’s Day!!!!

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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April Fool's Day--Another Joker! by finsbry

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April Fool’s Day

The first of April, some do say,
Is set apart for All Fools’ Day.
But why the people call it so,
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.

who's smiling now?... fool!  :)  108/365 | Explored! by tharrin

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Foolish Questions

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him? 

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Comments (0) Apr 01 2010