WOMEN ARE EVIL

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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There was an opening for an assassin at the FBI.
Three people applied for the job, two men and a woman.
All three were called in to interview on the same day.

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First up was Ed. Ed walked into the room, and was asked
do you have what it takes to do this job? Ed quickly replied,
yes I do. The man then handed Ed a gun and was told that
his wife was in the next room - kill her.

 

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Ed said there is
no way that I could kill my wife. The man then replied, you’re
free to go.

 

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Next up was Bob. The man handed Bob a gun and said
your wife is in the next room - kill her. Bob went into the next

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Comments (0) Jun 22 2011

Miss USA 2011 Pageant

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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AND THE WINNER IS . . . .

Alyssa Campanella admits she's a huge history geek and says in her Twitter bio that she was born in the wrong time period. I'm obsessed with the Stuart and Tudor era. .... Whenever I go to Barnes & Noble, I'm always in the history section and that is where you will find me, the newly crowned Miss USA explains. Campanella is also a fan of period dramas like The Tudors, Game of Thrones, and Camelot.Richard Harbaugh/Miss Universe L.P., LLLP - Monday, June, 20, 2011, 4:20 AM

Alyssa Campanella

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As the 2011 Miss USA Pageant winner, Alyssa Campanella will represent the United States at the Miss Universe pageant in Brazil scheduled for September 12.AP Photo/Julie Jacobson - Monday, June, 20, 2011, 4:20 AM

The winner of the 2011 Miss USA Pageant, Alyssa Campanella, will represent the United States at the Miss Universe pageant in Brazil scheduled for September 12.

 

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Alyssa Campanella is actually a natural blonde. Six years ago while auditioning for a play, she dyed her hair reddish brown to fit the fiery character she was trying out for. It's really brought out the true Alyssa Campanella, I feel, and that's why I really enjoy being a redhead, explains the now auburn-haired Campanella.Richard Harbaugh/Miss Universe L.P., LLLP - Monday, June, 20, 2011, 4:20 AM

Alyssa Campanella

 

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Alyssa Campanella, who's originally from Manalapan, New Jersey, is a former Miss Teen USA runner-up from 2007. She moved to Los Angeles, California after losing her Garden State apartment. The downs happen for a reason, she said. The path that I'm on now is the path that's been meant to be.Richard Harbaugh/Miss Universe L.P., LLLP - Monday, June, 20, 2011, 4:20 AM

Alyssa Campanella, who’s originally from Manalapan, New Jersey, is a former Miss Teen USA runner-up from 2007. She moved to Los Angeles, California after losing her Garden State

 

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011

Miss USA 2011 Smiling Face Contestants

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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Miss New York USA 2011, Amber Marie Collins, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss New York USA 2011, Amber Marie Collins

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Miss Ohio USA 2011, Ashley Caldwell, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Ohio USA 2011, Ashley Caldwell

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Miss Pennsylvania USA 2011, Amber-Joi Watkins, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Pennsylvania USA 2011, Amber-Joi Watkins

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Miss North Dakota USA 2011, Brandi Lynn Schoenberg, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss North Dakota USA 2011, Brandi Lynn Schoenberg

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Miss Vermont USA 2011, Lauren Carter, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Vermont USA 2011, Lauren Carter

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Miss New Hampshire USA 2011, LacyJane Folger, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss New Hampshire USA 2011, LacyJane Folger

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Miss New Jersey USA 2011, Julianna White, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss New Jersey USA 2011, Julianna White

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011

Lawyers should never ask a . . . .

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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. . . Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. . .

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In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

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The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ ..

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011

Make a Wish

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a
Genie’s lamp.

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She picked it up, rubbed it & a Genie appeared. The amazed woman
asked if she was entitled to three wishes.

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The Genie said “No. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low
wages in third world countries & fierce global competition, I can
only grant you one wish. So what’ll it be?”

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The woman didn’t hesitate. She said “I want peace in the Middle
East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with
each other.”

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The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed “Gadzooks, lady! These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but
not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”

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The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011

Smiling Miss USA 2011 Contestants

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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Miss Arkansas USA 2011, Lakynn McBride, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM 

Miss Arkansas USA 2011, Lakynn McBride

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Miss Illinois USA 2011, Angela Sparrow, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Illinois USA 2011, Angela Sparrow

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Miss Kentucky USA 2011, Kia Ben-et Hampton, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Kentucky USA 2011, Kia Ben-et Hampton

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Miss California USA 2011, Alyssa Campanella, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss California USA 2011, Alyssa Campanella

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Miss Colorado USA 2011, Blair Adair Griffith, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Colorado USA 2011, Blair Adair Griffith

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Miss Louisiana USA 2011, Page Pennock, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Louisiana USA 2011, Page Pennock

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Miss Indiana USA 2011, Jillian Wunderlich, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Indiana USA 2011, Jillian Wunderlich

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Miss Iowa USA 2011, Rebecca Goldsmith, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Iowa USA 2011, Rebecca Goldsmith

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 Miss Maine USA 2011, Ashley-Lynn Marble, competes for the title of Miss USA 2011.2011 Miss Universe Organization/Matt Petit - Thursday, June, 16, 2011, 6:16 PM

Miss Maine USA 2011, Ashley-Lynn Marble

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011