Off The Wall‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump
into a wall.


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They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive.


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She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another
funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry

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Comments (0) Apr 24 2013

Music Makes A Healthier You

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Advice & Tips.
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“He who sings scares away his woes.”

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~Cervantes 

 

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Persons going to music festivals seldom think about the positive health effects that music imparts. As the research continues the body of evidence increasingly shows that music has many positive health benefits.  Music is one of the few activities that involve using the whole brain.  It is intrinsic to all cultures and can have surprising benefits not only for learning language, improving memory and focusing attention, but also for physical coordination and development.

 

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Music can be distracting if it is too loud or too jarring, or if it competes for our attention with what we’re trying to do, but for the most part, exposure to many kinds of music has beneficial effects.

 

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Music Heals

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Listening to music can reduce chronic pain from a range of painful conditions, including osteoarthritis, disc problems and rheumatoid arthritis, by up to 21% and depression by up to 25%, according to a paper in the UK-based Journal of Advanced Nursing.  Music therapy is increasingly used in hospitals to reduce the need for medication during childbirth, to decrease post-operative pain and complement the use of anesthesia during surgery.  There are several theories about how music positively affects perceived pain:

 

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Music Serves as a Distractor

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Music may give the patient a sense of control.

 

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Music causes the body to release endorphins to counteract pain.

 

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Slow music relaxes a person by slowing their breathing and heartbeat.

 

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Reducing Blood Pressure

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Comments (0) Apr 14 2013

The Wife’s Cat

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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A Jamaican man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of it one day

by driving twenty blocks from his home and leaving it at the park.

 

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As he was getting home,

the cat was walking up the driveway.

 

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The next day he decided to drive the cat forty blocks away.

He put the beast out and headed home.

 

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Driving up his driveway, there was the cat!

 

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He kept taking the cat farther and farther away

and the cat would always beat him home.

 

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At last he decided to drive a much greater distance away,

turning right, then left, past bridges,

then make more right and left turns

until he was sure he was a safe distance

then left the cat there.

 

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Hours later the man calls home to his wife,

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Comments (2) Apr 14 2013

Rastaman in Court

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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A rastaman went to court for assaulting his boss.

The curious judge asked why he would attack his boss in a staff meeting.

 

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The rasta replied, “rasta nuh luv man!”

 

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The shocked judge asked, “did your boss make a sexual advance towards you?”

 

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The rasta replied, “no but from I walk inna di office, all mi hear dem talk bout is

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Comments (3) Apr 14 2013