Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, assignment, beauty, blood, classroom, dentist, doctor, elderly, era, exam, eyes, focus, funny, graduation, gynecologist, hair, hilarious, history, homework, humor, jokes, laughter, memories, memory, nurse, office, perception, period, physician, quiz, school, seniors, short, smiles, specialist, surgeon, teacher, teeth, test, time, tutor, vision
.
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of
a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full
name.
.
Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same
name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago.
.
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too
old to have been my classmate.
.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended
the local high school.
.
“Yes,” he replied.
.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
.
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Apr 29 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bishop, church, eyes, funny, gospel, hand, hands, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, man, Mathematics, minister, pastor, pope, preacher, priest, reading, reverend, scripture, sermon, short, show, sin, sins, smiles, Sunday, understanding, woman, words
.
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about
the sin of lying.
.
To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
.
The following Sunday the minister asked for a show of hands to
indicate
how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, beauty, black, boss, chance, color, colors, duty, employee, employer, era, eyes, feeling, feelings, focus, funny, girl, goodness, granny, hand, hands, hilarious, history, humor, impression, job, jokes, kisses, labor, laughter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, man, manager, mountain, noise, perception, perceptive, period, satisfaction, smiles, sound, station, supervisor, task, thought, ticket, time, touch, train, woman, work, youth
.
Kiss and Slap
==============
.
A young technician and his general manager board a train headed
through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no
place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from
a young woman and her grandmother.
.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young
tech are interested in each other because they are giving each
other looks.
.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black.
There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there
without saying a word.
.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for
that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she
slapped him.”
.
The general manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know
the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure
Read More
Apr 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, All Fool's Day, April Fool's Day, attorney, boobs, breasts, cemetery, companion, couple, court, dumb, elderly, era, exam, excitement, eyes, feeling, feelings, fool, friends, friendship, funny, ghost, girl, hand, hands, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, idiot, jokes, judge, knowledge, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lovemaking, man, moron, movement, obituary, others, partner, passion, passionate, period, personality, quiz, seniors, sex, silly, smiles, spouse, spring, stupid, test, thought, time, tool, tools, touch, wife, woman, words, youth
.
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
.
Little old lady:
I am 94 years old.
.
Defense Attorney:
Will you please tell us in your own words,
what happened on the night of April 1st?
.
Little old lady:
There I was, sitting on my porch on a warm spring evening
when a young man comes creeping up
and sat down next to me.
.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
.
Little old lady:
No, but he was friendly.
.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
.
Little old lady:
He rubbed my thigh.
.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
.
Little old lady:
No.
.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
.
Little old lady:
It felt good.
No one had touched me since my Albert died.
.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
.
Little old lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
.
Little old lady:
No.
.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
.
Little old lady:
Read More
Apr 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: airline, airlines, airplane, airport, attendant, bishop, cab, captain, car, celebrity, Chief, choice, cop, destination, earth, East Coast, flight, Florida, funny, global, globe, government, governor, highway, hilarious, humor, Jesus, jet, jokes, journey, land, language, laughter, license, light, limo, man, minister, mirror, moment, movement, noise, North Coast, northcoast, officer, passenger, pastor, patrolman, phone, pilot, plane, police, pope, preacher, president, priest, radio, reverend, road, sheriff, sign, smiles, sound, taxi, tour, travel, trip, trooper, universe, vehicle, voice, words, world
.
Ride To The Airport
====================
.
Billy Graham had just finished a tour of the Florida East Coast
and was taking a limousine to the airport.
.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could
drive for a while. The chauffeur didn’t really have much of a
choice, so he got in the back of the limo and Rev. Graham took
the wheel.
.
He turned onto I-95 and accelerated to about 90 MPH.
.
Soon the blue lights of the State Highway Patrol flashed in his
rearview mirror.
.
He pulled over and a trooper came to his window.
.
When the trooper saw who it was, he said,
“Just a moment, please, I need to call in.”
.
The trooper radioed in and asked for the chief.
.
He said, “I have a REALLY important person pulled over and I
need to know what to do.”
.
The chief replied, “Who is it, I hope not Ted Kennedy?”
The trooper said, “No, even more important.”
.
“It isn’t the Governor, Jeb Bush, is it?” asked the chief.
.
“No, even more important,” replied the trooper.
.
Read More
Apr 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aid, assignment, care, child, children, class, classroom, concern, day, duty, exam, family, focus, fool, friends, friendship, funny, granny, hand, hands, hilarious, holiday, holidays, home, homework, House, humor, idiot, job, jokes, labor, laughter, love, moron, pencil, Professor, quiz, reading, school, silly, smiles, son, stupid, surprise, task, teacher, test, thought, tool, tools, tutor, vacation, work
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
.
Homework
.
Two boys, Kelley and Mackenzie, are in the same class
at school. They are best friends.
.
Mackenzie went away on a vacation and
Kelley offered to pick up his homework for the week.
.
At the end of the week, his mom asked, “Where is
Mackenzie’s homework?”
.
“Well, I dit it,” he replied. “I didn’t want him
Read More
Mar 08 2012
