“Do you know what I am doing?”

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Day 238 of 365 by evaxebra.  

 

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 One day this beautiful woman walked into a doctor’s office. 

 The doctor was bowled over by how stunningly awesome she was. 

All his professionalism went right out the window…
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He told her to take her pants off, she did, and he started rubbing her thighs.

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“Do you know what I am doing?” asked the doctor.

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“Yes, checking for abnormalities,” she replied.

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He told her to take off her shirt and bra, she took them off. 

The doctor began rubbing her breasts and asked, 

“Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replied, 

“Yes, checking for cancer.”

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Finally, he told her to take off her panties, laid her on the table, got

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

Safety Competition

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Pedal Car Arrest by Spacing Magazine.

 

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 A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him

that he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition,

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all because he was wearing his seat belt.

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“What are you going to do with the prize money?”

the officer asked.

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The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to the driving school

and get my license.”

 

His wife said, “Officer, don’t listen to him. He’s a smart

Aleck when he’s drunk.”

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The guy in the back seat popped up from under the

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

Off The Wall‏

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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump
into a wall.


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They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive.


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She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another
funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry

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Comments (0) Apr 24 2013

“Something really cheap…”

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After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $250.00

 

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“That’s a bit much”, said Tim, so she returned with another bottle for $130.00.

“That’s still quite a bit”, Tim complained.

 

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Growing annoyed, the clerk showed him a perfume valued at $50.00.

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Comments (0) Feb 21 2013

THE BATHTUB TEST

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During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well”, he said, “we fill up a bathtub then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the tub.”

“Oh, I understand”, I said.

“A normal person would use the bucket because

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Comments (0) Feb 21 2013

Kids Advice on Love and Marriage‏

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Kids Advice on Love and Marriage
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10

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No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out
later who you’re stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10

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WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
by then.
* Camille, age 10

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No age is good to get married at.
You got to be a fool to get married.
* Freddie, age 6

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HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8

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WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8

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WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8

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On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10

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WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns.
* Craig, age 9

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WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

 

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Comments (0) Jan 08 2013