A MountainWings Moment - Don’t Mess with Mom‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Don’t Mess with Mom
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My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

~*~ 


“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”

~*~ 

It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

 

~*~
 
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.

 

~*~
 
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.

 

~*~
 
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

 

~*~
 
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.

 

~*~
 
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,

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Comments (2) Dec 04 2011

Nursery Rhymes - Jamaican Style

Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Funny Poetry, Jamaican Jokes.
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Humpty Dumpty by Apt3Photography

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Jamaican Jokes

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Mary had a likkle lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes down quite a treat,
with rice and hard dough bread .

* * *

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to de fair.
Said Simple Simon to de Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said de Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you fool whappin, you a hidiot!!

* * *

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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Comments (4) Mar 08 2010

Things to Do Today

Posted: under Friendship Poetry, Funny Poetry.
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I don’t want to do the dishes,
I don’t want to do the wash,
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!

***

I don’t wanna clean the pots,
I don’t wanna rattle pans,
I wanna read my e-mail,
And chat with all my friends!

***

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Comments (0) Apr 03 2009

A Cat’s Prayer

Posted: under Funny Poetry.
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Now I lay me down to sleep,The king-size bed looks soft and deep…I’ll move right into the center grooveSo my humans can hardly move!I’ve trapped their legs,

they’re tucked in tight

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Comments (0) Mar 07 2009

Harsh Love Poems

Posted: under Funny Poetry.
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Nothing can express how you feel better than a poem.

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the
most romantic first line but least romantic second line . . . .

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

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Comments (7) Feb 15 2009

Unhappy Valentine’s Day

Posted: under Funny Poetry.
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Roses are red and Violets are blue,
I didn’t buy you anything
’cause to be honest,
I really don’t like you.

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Comments (0) Feb 14 2009