Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work

.
Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
.
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
Read More
Dec 04 2011
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Funny Poetry, Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: child, dialect, dumb, fashion, father, fool, funny, hilarious, humor, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, man, moron, nurse, parent, patois, smiles, stupid, style, treat, vernacular, words

.
Jamaican Jokes
.
Mary had a likkle lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes down quite a treat,
with rice and hard dough bread .
* * *
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to de fair.
Said Simple Simon to de Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said de Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you fool whappin, you a hidiot!!
* * *
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Posted: under Friendship Poetry, Funny Poetry.
Tags: attention, celebration, chores, companion, computer, couple, designer, dishes, dog, fashion, friends, friendship, fun, funny, funtime, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, internet, job, language, laughter, man, online, others, partner, smiles, style, task, time, today, treats, wife, woman, words, work

I don’t want to do the dishes,
I don’t want to do the wash,
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!
***
I don’t wanna clean the pots,
I don’t wanna rattle pans,
I wanna read my e-mail,
And chat with all my friends!
***
Read More
Apr 03 2009
Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: cat, food, fun, funny, funtime, humanity, humor, laughter, legs, man, morning, others, prayer, sleep, smiles, teeth, woman
Now I lay me down to sleep,The king-size bed looks soft and deep…I’ll move right into the center grooveSo my humans can hardly move!I’ve trapped their legs,
they’re tucked in tight
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Mar 07 2009
Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: anger, bar, beauty, beer, bliss, champagne, companion, competition, couple, dream, drunk, embrace, expression, eyes, feelings, flowers, fragrance, fun, funny, funtime, gin, grace, happiness, humor, husband, inspiration, intelligence, joy, kindness, language, laughter, liquor, love, marriage, odor, partner, perfume, poem, rhyme, romance, rose, roses, rum, scent, scotch, smiles, spouse, tequila, thought, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, words

Nothing can express how you feel better than a poem.
…
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the
most romantic first line but least romantic second line . . . .
…
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed
…
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Read More
Feb 15 2009
Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: bank, check, color, colors, flowers, funds, funny, God, humor, Irish, jokes, laughter, loan, love, memories, memory, money, poem, poetry, rose, roses, smiles, Valentine's Day
.
Roses are red and Violets are blue,
I didn’t buy you anything
’cause to be honest,
I really don’t like you.
Read More
Feb 14 2009