“Your honor!”

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Judge by Simon Gurr. 

 

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 A rasta man an him empress inna court getting a

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divorce. 

The problem was who should get custody of

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the child.

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The empress jumped up and said,

 ”Your honor,

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I brought the child into this world with pain and

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labor. She should be in my custody.”

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The judge turned to the dread and said,

 ”What do you have to say in the matter?”

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The rasta sat down for a while contemplating… then

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slowly rose and said,

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

“Kiss mi neck!”

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stairway.jpg Stairway to Heaven image by godsrose123

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A Jamaican and a Trinidadian, waiting at the pearly gates, struck up a conversation. 

“How did you die?” the Trinidadian man asked the Jamaican.

 ”I froze to death mon”, said the Jamaican. 

“That’s awful! How does it feel to freeze to death?” asked the Trinidadian.

“Well brother, it was very uncomfortable at first but when the cold hit, my whole body started to shake and I got pain in my fingers and toes.

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Eventually, it became, a very calm way to die. I got numb and then I just drifted off, like dying in your sleep.”

 ”So how did you die Mon?” asked the Jamaican. 

“I had a heart attack”, said the Trinidadian. 

“You see, I did believe my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone

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knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast

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Comments (2) Jul 12 2013

JAMAICAN JOKE

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photo

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A man in JAMAICA was on his way to church one Sunday when he realized that he had left his new cellphone at home. 

He turned back to get it.

By the time he reached home his wife had found the phone and placed it on the table.  

He picked up the phone, looked at it and started taking off his church clothes. 

His wife said to him, ”Aren’t you going back to church?” 

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

The Wife’s Cat

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photo

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A Jamaican man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of it one day

by driving twenty blocks from his home and leaving it at the park.

 

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As he was getting home,

the cat was walking up the driveway.

 

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The next day he decided to drive the cat forty blocks away.

He put the beast out and headed home.

 

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Driving up his driveway, there was the cat!

 

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He kept taking the cat farther and farther away

and the cat would always beat him home.

 

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At last he decided to drive a much greater distance away,

turning right, then left, past bridges,

then make more right and left turns

until he was sure he was a safe distance

then left the cat there.

 

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Hours later the man calls home to his wife,

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Comments (0) Apr 14 2013

Rastaman in Court

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photo

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A rastaman went to court for assaulting his boss.

The curious judge asked why he would attack his boss in a staff meeting.

 

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The rasta replied, “rasta nuh luv man!”

 

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The shocked judge asked, “did your boss make a sexual advance towards you?”

 

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The rasta replied, “no but from I walk inna di office, all mi hear dem talk bout is

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Comments (0) Apr 14 2013

DON’T MESS WITH JAMAICANS

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photo.



A Jamaican goes to Australia and goes to Woolworth’s grocery store. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

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The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Jamaican to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.

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The Jamaican goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

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Next week the Jamaican finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out.

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Again, the Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog, and he will probably feed dog food to his kids.
He asks the Jamaican to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food.

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The Jamaican goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
photo


Next week the Jamaican comes to Woolworth with a bag. He asks the manager to put his
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Comments (0) Feb 05 2013