Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, air, attention, attorney, bank, check, classic, computer, dictionary, difference, dumb, earth, era, exam, flight, fool, friends, friendship, fun, funds, funny, funtime, game, global, globe, hand, hands, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, internet, Jamaican, jokes, land, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, letter, mail, money, moon, moron, nut, nuts, online, passenger, period, phone, plane, play, quiz, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, test, time, universe, voice, wealth, words
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This is hilarious! A true classic.
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A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question.
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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’
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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn.
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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
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Feb 07 2012
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bus, child, class, dialect, funny, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, patois, school, smiles, teacher, vehicle, vernacular, words
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A Jamaican teacher asked Leroy to describe the word , “Deceitful”!
Leroy said, ”It’s when there’s no more seats pon de bus!”
May 05 2011
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: attorney, cop, court, dialect, food, funny, hilarious, honor, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, man, money, officer, patois, patrolman, police, rules, sheriff, smiles, sugar, treats, trooper, vernacular, words
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A Jamaican man went into a store and picked up a bottle of juice and a bag of sugar and only paid for the juice and walked out………he got arrested for stealing the sugar.
He went to court, the judge asked him why he stole the sugar……….he then replied,
“Yuh Honor, mi nah tief no sugar…..mi look pon de back ah de juice
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May 05 2011
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: beaches, beauty, bliss, Caribbean, country, culture, entertainment, fun, funny, funtime, happiness, hilarious, humor, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, joy, laughter, lawyer, link, Montego Bay, music, northcoast, photos, satire, smiles, sunrise, sunset
Sea, Sun and Sand — on the North Coast, Jamaica
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Douglas the ‘Roots and culture’ lawyer
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Raathaaar… a veritable FEAST … Some so-so… But… ENJOY !!!
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This is a withering satire on many an ” Uppercrust”
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Jamaican Uppercrust
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, attention, beaches, beauty, behavior, Big Boy, blacks, Caribbean, carnival, celebration, children, community, contest, cop, country, culture, custom, dancer, dialect, dreadlocks, elderly, example, fashion, festival, fun, funny, funtime, future, game, hairstyle, hilarious, history, humor, independence, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, labrish, land, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, man, memories, morals, neighborhood, Ocho Rios, officer, patois, patrolman, police, pride, queen, rastafarian, rastaman, respect, road, role model, seniors, sheriff, smiles, sport, St Ann, style, television, time, travel, treats, trip, trooper, value, values, vehicle, vernacular, waterfalls, woman, words, youth
“SWEET, SWEET JAMAICA”
Waterfall at “The Ruins” in Ocho Rios, Jamaica
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I GUESS I may be getting just a teeny-weeny bit old, because I can remember when it was considered
rude to whistle in front of adults, the biggest bad words pickney used to cuss were ‘blouse and skirt’,'rahtid’ and ‘blow-wow’; and slackness was talking big bwoy stories.
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I am probably not so young anymore, I guess, because I can remember when people used to charter JOS bus to go to outing at Gunboat beach. And the beach dem was clean! And bad boys were the ones riding skate, and playing marbles and racing board horse in the gutter water after rain... I remember when children were afraid of Johnkunnu - now even police fraid a pickney, ’cause pickney a shotta!
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Call me archaic, but I remember when school children never had such a wide range of colourfully creative
chemical concoctions and toxic adventures to choose from such as sweets and snacks. For example, I saw one
recently marked cheese tricks and when you read the fine print carefully, you realized that the ingredients did not include any cheese - so-so tricks!
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But I suppose it must be old age, because I also remember that children used to eat jackfruit, juneplum, naseberry, guinep, hogplum and tinkin toe; we used to relish treats like bustamante-backbone, drops, gizzada, toto, cut-cake and grater-cake. MEN USED TO DANCE WITH WOMEN after asking if they could have this dance!!
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I must be clearly approaching dinosaur status, because I can vividly recall a period when independence time meant street dance on every corner, and we never had to import carnival to have revelling in the streets, and float parades were magnificent. I must have come from them dark ages, but I remember when man used to go party to dance with woman, not to “par wid man”, and women never had to walk naked to get attention.
“Miss Jamaica Festival Queen 2008″
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But I am not quite ready for the rocking chair and adult diapers just yet. No papa! Still, I remember when Rasta was a lifestyle. Now dreadlocks is a hairstyle. I remember
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Apr 02 2010
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: baby, Big Boy, class, divorce, doctor, eyes, family, father, funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, minister, mother, parents, pastor, preacher, school, student, Sunday, teacher, vision
Picturesque view of a sugar plantation, Jamaica
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One day when Big Boy was in class, the teacher asked…
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“Who built the ark?”
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Student: “Big Boy, you know?”
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Big Boy: “Know wha??”
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Teacher: “That is right, Big Boy, Noah built the ark”
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Big boy went to school and heard other students using ‘raas’; not
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