Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Funny Poetry, Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: child, dialect, dumb, fashion, father, fool, funny, hilarious, humor, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, man, moron, nurse, parent, patois, smiles, stupid, style, treat, vernacular, words
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Jamaican Jokes
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Mary had a likkle lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes down quite a treat,
with rice and hard dough bread .
* * *
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to de fair.
Said Simple Simon to de Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said de Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you fool whappin, you a hidiot!!
* * *
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, bird, children, dialect, discipline, dog, elderly, eyes, food, funny, granny, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, jokes, labrish, language, laughter, lessons, manners, mother, mother-in-law, patois, respect, rest, seniors, sleep, smiles, vernacular, words
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Lessons From Granny
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1. Ant follow fat, fat drown ant (Shows the negative effect of greed)
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2. Bad ting nuh hab owner (No one ever owns up to a bad deed)
.3. You nebber see empty bag tan up (If you are hungry you cannot work)
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4. Nuh put youself in a barrel when match-box can hol’ you (Do not pretend to be more important than you are)
.5. De Lard gib beard a them nuh hab chin fe wear eh (Some people have advantages that they cannot make use of)
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6. Wha sweet a mout sometime hot a belly (First impressions are often wrong)
.7. Big blanket mek man sleep late (Luxury encourages idleness)
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Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bank, bar, beer, car, champagne, drunk, funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, man, money, penis, restaurant, sex, tequila, vodka, waiter, waitress, whiskey, wine, woman
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A Jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.
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The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that it’s from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the Jamaican, the note reads…
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Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, age, airport, bird, cat, cemetery, child, cow, dialect, dog, elderly, fart, flight, fragrance, funny, ghost, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, Jamaican, jokes, labrish, language, laughter, manners, mother, mother-in-law, odor, patois, perfume, respect, scent, school, seniors, smiles, traffic, vernacular, words
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… Yuh wing soon clip
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… Yuh mus be tink seh mi born behind cow
…. Puss an dawg nuh have de same luck
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… Learn fi dance a yard before yuh go abroad
…. Dawg know who fi bite and duppy know who fi frighten
…. Chicken merry! Hawk deh near
…. Yuh head faver someting whey johncrow draw brakes ina
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Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: accident, car, cop, dialect, funny, gold, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, jewelry, jokes, language, laughter, man, officer, patois, patrolman, phone, police, road, sheriff, smiles, trooper, vehicle, vernacular, words
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A Jamaican driving in his brand new BMW Z8 pulls over to take a leak. A truck
speeding down the street crashes into his door just as he’s about to come out of
his car, sending it flying off the hinges. Enraged, he uses his cell phone to
call 911.
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When the police arrives, the Jamaican man explains what happened.
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: actor, actress, airport, alcohol, America, beauty, bliss, Britain, bus, car, church, companion, contest, contestant, couple, culture, custom, dance, dialect, doctor, drugs, earth, engagement, era, fashion, festival, flight, food, fun, funny, funtime, game, gift, graduation, growth, happiness, heritage, hilarious, history, holiday, Hollywood, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, jonkanoo, journey, joy, language, laughter, license, life, London, magazine, marriage, medication, medicine, memories, minister, money, music, nurse, office, partner, pastor, path, patois, pharmacist, pharmacy, physician, plane, preacher, present, priest, prize, queen, Queen Elizabeth, reggae, road, school, sermon, smiles, sport, spouse, style, summer, Sunday, task, television, time, traffic, travel, universe, vehicle, vernacular, West Indian, wife, words, work, world, youth
Miss Jamaica, Evelyn Andrade, Marries Dancing Partner Tony Verity
– Jet Magazine May 26, 1955
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Those who remember these shouldn’t still be working!!!!
— As a Jamaican you know you are getting old if:
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You had an exercise book with Queen Elizabeth and her husband on it
(instead of a ring binder).
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You used to listen to Redifussion.
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You wore Bata crepe to school, and bought Asham at the gate..
(Extra credit if you know what Asham was made of)
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You remember that the Lou and Ranny show used to come on at 7:00 PM
On a Sunday.
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You know what the initials T. A. D. P. Stand for.
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You know who Tony Verity was.
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You can name more than two of the characters in a Jonkanoo band.
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You know what boxing title Bunny Grant held.
Comments (4)
Mar 08 2010