Little Johnny‏

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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> At school little Johnny’s class is learning about medicines. Sister
> Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know
> and what they are used for.
>
> The first pupil said: ‘Tylenol?’
>
> ‘Very good! And what is it used for?’
>
> ‘It is used for a headache.’
>
> The second pupil said: ‘Nytol.’
>
> ‘Excellent!’ said Sister Catherine. ‘And what is it used for?’

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Comments (0) Apr 18 2009

A Professional Gambler

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”

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The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”

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The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.

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Comments (0) Apr 04 2009

Blind Man at a Restaurant

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

“I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order from there.”

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. “Ah, yes that’s what I’ll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner’s wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Read More

Comments (0) Apr 01 2009

Way too Funny !!!

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’
..
‘Yes’, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
 ..
‘OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’

 
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Comments (0) Apr 01 2009

THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

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The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.” “Onions?”   ”Yes, you see them, and they make you cry.”

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Comments (1) Dec 24 2008

Twick or Tweat

Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blonde curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.

She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, “what are you supposed to say sweetheart?”

The little girl looks up at the woman and says “Twick or Tweat!”

The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, “Go ahead honey say it just one more time.”

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Comments (0) Oct 31 2008