Stop Sign

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A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
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“Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man.

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Comments (0) Jul 03 2011

Express Lane

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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

.Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had

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slipped into the check-out line pushing a

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cart piled high with groceries.

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Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman

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Comments (0) May 31 2011

Little John the Baptist

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Wet Cat by Ilya Boyandin.  

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Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat.

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He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.

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She smiled and went about her work.

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 A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the

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Comments (4) Apr 29 2010

How to Say I Love You

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I'll Hold You Forever by Extra Medium

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HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN 20 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:

English……………………………….I Love You

Spanish………………………………………Te Amo

French………………………………………..Je Taime

German………………………………………………………Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese………………………………………Ai Shite Imasu

Italian……………………………………………………….Ti Amo

Chinese……………………………………………………….Jag Alskar

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Comments (0) Mar 20 2010

Short St. Patrick’s Day Jokes

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Nutty Irishman, Bayshore by optimuminline

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.

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Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.

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Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?
A: They like to “go” first class!

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Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!

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Q: What’s Irish and stays out all night?

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Comments (0) Mar 17 2010

9 Jokes That Can Be Told In Church‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
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Devon Church by etrusia_uk (Away for a while).  

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1. Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why the groom wearing black?”

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2. A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!”

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3. Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

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4. An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.”

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5. A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do

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Comments (0) Mar 14 2010