Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: embrace, funny, hug, jokes, kisses, love, short
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HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN 20 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:
English……………………………….I Love You
Spanish………………………………………Te Amo
French………………………………………..Je Taime
German………………………………………………………Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese………………………………………Ai Shite Imasu
Italian……………………………………………………….Ti Amo
Chinese……………………………………………………….Jag Alskar
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Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: funny, gold, jokes, laughter, money, short, wife
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
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Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.
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Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?
A: They like to “go” first class!
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Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!
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Q: What’s Irish and stays out all night?
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: baby, cop, elderly, funny, hilarious, jokes, laughter, Little Johnny, minister, money, pastor, police, preacher, priest, school, sermon, short, Sunday, teacher, wedding, wife
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1. Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why the groom wearing black?”
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2. A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!”
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3. Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
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4. An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.”
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5. A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: funny, jokes, man, money, short, woman
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A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside of London. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down £500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a cheese sandwich!”
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The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: charity, elderly, funny, jokes, minister, money, pastor, preacher, seniors, short
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
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After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.
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A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: date, family, friends, funny, jokes, short
Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with his cousin.Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before. “What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Bob, “I’ll be with her all night.”
“Don’t worry,” Alex says, “just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout ‘Aaaaaauuuggghhh!’ and fake a heart attack.”
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Jul 28 2009