Humor
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.” .. DID NOAH FISH? .. A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.” .. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD .. A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.” .. UNANSWERED PRAYER .. The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.” “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked. .. BEING THANKFUL .. A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!” .. ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS .. When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “and all girls.” This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?” Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!” .. SAY A PRAYER .. Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny!
The Homeless ManPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
. The Homeless Man . It was a cold winter’s day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. . He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all fellowshiped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. . A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place and to give us Read More
Best Bible TranslationPosted: under "A Slice Of Life".
.There were four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible... One liked the King James Version because of its simple, beautiful English... Another liked the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek... Still another liked Moffat’s translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary... The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, “I like my mother’s translation best.”.. Read More
The Bible: a timeless roadmapPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
The Bible gives timeless advice and direction on how to live a godly life My granddaughter has a Nintendo DS. My grandson had a PlayStation, but he broke the screen. Now he wants to play with her Nintendo DS all the time. I have warned both of them against this. They don’t share well. If something happens to her Nintendo DS, she’s going to be upset and he’s going to have to pay for it. Despite my warnings, she continues to let him play with it. .. This morning she was looking for her Nintendo, and discovered that her brother had taken it to school which, of course, is not allowed by me or the school. So, the tears started falling because now she’s afraid it’s going to get taken away. .. I warned them that no good would come of this, but they didn’t listen. Now, he’s broken two rules—mine and the school’s—and she is in tears.
A MountainWings Moment — The Blessing Of ThornsPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
. The Blessing Of Thorns .. Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed .. ..
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In God we trustPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals. |
Dec 06 2011
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